


Strange Magic

by Kaibalikeaboss



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Aphrodisiacs, Bottom Peter Parker/Top Wade Wilson, Breathplay, Choking, Costume Kink, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, First Time, Frottage, Light Dom/sub, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Marathon Sex, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Rimming, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Spanking, Switching, Top Peter Parker/Bottom Wade Wilson, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2020-10-27 00:47:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaibalikeaboss/pseuds/Kaibalikeaboss
Summary: When Peter is hit with a love spell, he must decide whether to suffer horrible pain or tell Captain America and Ironman that he is dating Deadpool.AKA Peter and Wade Get It On For Like Six Hours





	1. That's My Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is the first fic I'm ever uploading so be gentle with me. 
> 
> Big thanks to kendershire for throwing fuel on this fire and checking my spelling. Go check out her stuff. 
> 
> A few things before we begin:  
1\. Peter is 17 (almost 18) and Wade is 35  
2\. They are in a committed relationship and have already said they love each other  
3\. While there is magic involved which may cause consent issues, they have discussed having sex before and all parties are enthusiastic participants. 
> 
> If you're okay with that then please proceed.

Peter tried to open his eyes, but was deterred by something pounding into his head. Oh wait. It was just a headache. He felt like he had been hit by a bus, which was a feeling he was actually familiar with. What happened? 

He could make out several voices. 

"... and this is the only way?" 

"I'm afraid so. Our friend here must wait it out for now."

"Who's going to tell him?"

Peter cracked his eyes and struggled to sit up. The best he could do was lift his head and prop his shoulders up a bit. "Guys? What's going on?"

"Shit. He's up. Hey Kid!" It was Mr. Stark. Tony, Peter corrected himself. He had been an Avenger for a while now. He was supposed to use first names. 

Glancing around the room he saw Thor, Natasha, Tony and Steve, all still in uniform.  
Peter was surprised to realize that he was not in the sickbay like he usually would be in this situation. He was in one of the guest rooms visiting heroes would stay in. What the hell? Everyone was standing nervously around the bed he was in. 

When he looked down, he discovered he was not in his suit, but workout clothes. They were a pretty light material, which Peter was glad for, because it was hot and stuffy in the room. 

"Nat, I vote you take this one." Tony said, not quite meeting Peter's gaze. 

"Fine, you coward." Natasha sighed and gave Peter a weak smile. "Pete, do you remember anything that happened? You were out with Thor right?" She was speaking very softly, like she didn't want to upset him. 

"Um… let me think." God his head hurt. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, every beat sending another throb through his skull. It was hard to focus. "Right. Thor got called out, and I went as backup. That green witch lady was making a fuss downtown-"

"Enchantress" Thor corrected. 

"Yeah. Her. I remember swinging around to distract her, and then…" Peter frowned, trying to sit up more. It was hard to think when it was so damn hot. Was the ac broken? 

"I can help you out there." Natasha saved him from frying his aching brain. "You got hit with a spell, and fell about six stories. You don't have any serious injuries that we can find but…" She trailed off, looking to the others. 

Everyone looked really concerned. Tony wouldn't look at him, and Steve's face was turning pink. 

"Come on guys. You're scaring me." Peter said with a nervous laugh. "If I'm not hurt, then what's going on?" He wiped sweat from his brow. 

Thor took over this time. 

"After subduing the Enchantress she confessed the nature of the spell she cast upon you. It was intended for me, but you bravely intercepted and took the blow yourself. I am grateful for such a true friend."

Peter was trying to pay attention. Really he was. It was just that now his stomach was hurting too. Wait. Not his stomach. His abdomen? Whatever that area was. He grimaced and shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind. Bad move. It felt like there was a knife in his brain. 

"Peter, are you feeling okay?" It was Steve's voice. Peter realized he had squeezed his eyes shut. It was so bright in here. It hurt his eyes. 

"I think I would feel better if it wasn't so hot in here." he grumbled. 

"Fuck," Tony cried. "Guys! It's starting! I can't handle this! "

"Calm down Tony." Natasha snapped. "Peter, look at me. We gotta make this fast."

With immense effort, Peter forced his eyes open. 

"Kid, I got good news and bad news." she said." "The good news is that the spell is reversible. We can get it done once Dr Strange gets back with some magic thing. The details aren't important. The point is we can make you feel better. The bad news is, it's going to be at least seven hours."

"Okay..." Peter said. "so what's the problem?"

"Well, it's a love spell. Sort of."

"Oh God." Peter's heart thudded in his chest. He couldn't fall in love with somebody! "Am I gonna go all mushy for Enchantress or something?" His shirt was becoming damp and uncomfortable. He wanted to rip the fabric off. 

"No. Nothing like that." she replied quickly. "I guess I should say it's more of an..." she paused, searching for the right word, "... arousal spell."

Peter sat agog, mouth moving like he wanted to say something. It was so hard to find words. 

Thor cut in, "It was intended for me I'm afraid. Enchantress has always been obsessed with me. Since she has determined that it shall not happen of my free will she has resorted to magics. Her intention was to ensnare me and bear my children, and then leave me to suffer. She did not possess means to reverse the spell."

"So what? My brain's gonna get set to porn logic? 'Cause I'm really not feeling in the mood right now." 

"Not exactly." Natasha said. 

"Guys. Stop beating around the bush. He can handle it." Peter started, noticing Bucky for the first time. He was leaning on the wall in the corner of the room. How had he not noticed him before? He pushed off the wall to stand behind Steve, metal hand on his shoulder, like he was trying to steady him. "Enchantress said if you engage in any sort of intimate activity with a partner you will feel really, really good, and it'll last until the spell stops. The problem is, if you don't, you will be in increasingly worse pain until you can't stand it anymore and you die."

Peter cursed under his breath. 

"What was that?"

"I said fuck!" Everyone cringed. He didn't mean to shout, but what was he supposed to do? This was a situation even a superhero couldn't expect. Alien abduction? Sure, why not? Switching bodies? It happens. Time traveling robots? Tuesday night. But this? How was he supposed to handle this? 

"Well, we know what we have to do." Bucky glared at Tony as he said this. 

"No we don't! There are several options we haven't explored yet!"

"Tony, look at him." Natasha spoke this time. "He's already hurting."

"He's a kid. He can't even consent to something like this!"

"He is right you know." Steve chimed in. "He's still 17. We have to consider that."

"What are you guys talking about? I'm right here you know!" Peter realized his voice was too loud, but it was so much effort just to speak. He couldn't control himself. 

"Pete, we all know you've been seeing somebody." Bucky said. "We see you checking your phone all the time. If they know your identity we can bring 'em in and they can help you through it till Strange gets back." He was the only one who looked even a little calm. 

If Peter thought he felt bad before, it was nothing compared to what he felt now. His heart sank. This was all wrong. He wasn't ready yet. He couldn't tell them. 

Tony was starting to sound more frantic. "We can't just bring somebody into HQ on a whim! What if they don't know? We can't force him to- he can't- Steve! Help me out here!"

Steve rubbed his temple. They were obviously continuing an earlier conversation. 

"So what?" Bucky retorted. "We just let him suffer? We don't know when Strange will get here. You willing to risk his life?"

"Peter Parker is a brave warrior. Can he not seek companionship?" Thor asked. 

"Guys."

"It's not that simple. Even if he was old enough, he's under a spell. I don't know if he can consent to anything in this situation!" Steve said. 

"Guys!"

"We have other options!" Tony pleaded. "We could put him on ice until the Doc gets back."

"GUYS!"

"Old friend, you know as well as I that your science and magic never mix well. The spell was delayed because Spiderman was unconscious, but now that it has begun, we cannot stop it." Thor placed a hand on Tony's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. 

Peter slammed his fist down on the nightstand beside him, cracking the top into a spray of wood chips. Everyone stopped, alarmed. Finally. 

"Guys, stop yelling. Sick person right here. This is all pointless anyway. You're not calling my boyfriend. I'll just stick it out." Another spike of pain stabbed through his abdomen as if to spite him. 

"Aha!" Bucky said. "Boyfriend. Clint owes me a fifty!" Steve elbowed him in the side. 

"Friend Parker, you are brave, but the pain will be great. Many Asgardians have fallen within 12 hours. I do not know how you will fare." Thor looked sad. Not a good sign. 

Natasha spoke again. "Why can't we call him? Is it your identity?"

"No it's not that it's just..." Peter really wanted to lie right now but he could barely speak, let alone come up with something to fool a master spy. "We haven't- I mean- we were waiting and..." another bolt of pain shot into his brain. It felt like his head was being smacked against a brick wall. "It's okay. I can deal. I don't want to put anyone in a weird position. Just, can you guys leave me alone? I'm not really feeling up to house guests." Peter wiped sweat from his eyes. It was rolling down his face now. 

"And you're sure about this? What if you're dying?" she said softly. 

"It won't come to that." he says. "It can't." 

\------

The Avengers sat around the monitor room, barely saying anything. All they could do was watch the video feed from the small camera in the corner of the room and listen to Friday give them periodic updates on Peter's vitals. 

Fifteen minutes after they left, Peter started crying. Seventeen minutes later he ripped all of his clothes off, save his briefs. After twenty he was sobbing uncontrollably. After thirty he was alternating between kicking all the linens off the bed and bundling under them, shivering uncontrollably. Forty minutes in, he was throwing up over the side of the bed, barely able to lean his body over. He had stopped crying because he was dehydrated. 

"Boss, his temperature's gone up to 103.7" Friday reported. 

Tony didn't bother to respond, as he furiously scribbled in a notebook. He was desperate to come up with some sort of solution. Bucky rolled his eyes. They had a solution, except nobody seemed to want to take it. 

Bucky checked on his adamantium hand, which was currently being held by Steve so tightly he almost expected it to crunch. The stupid hunk of metal came in handy when you had a super soldier lover. 

A small movement caught his attention, and he looked up to lock eyes with Natasha. She raised her eyebrow a hair. He knew what that look meant. Their training had been quite similar after all. 

"Hey Steve, I'm going to try and see if I can get some water in the kid." he said. 

"Remember that you must not touch him. I am unsure how the magic will react. I have only heard tales."

"I'll keep that in mind big guy." he said as he made for the door. 

"I'll come too." Natasha said, natural as anything. Damn, that woman was scary. "You might need some help, and we can clean up a bit. At least he won't have to smell vomit on top of everything else."

They left with their teammates none the wiser. 

"So what's the plan?"

She shrugged. "First we talk to Peter. Hopefully we still can, and he'll tell us who to call."

"And if he can't talk?"

"We call in somebody. Maybe one of the younger X-Men? Anybody. He can hate us later, when he's alive."

"Right. Stupid kid. We let 'em try it his way, and now he's dying. I can't believe they're sitting in there wringing their hands. Sometimes, you have to make choices you don't like."

"Bucky, you know Steve and Tony see him like a son. They just don't want him to have to make this decision, and Thor doesn't want to step on 'mortal traditions'. Stuff is pretty black and white to them. We are more grey, and sometimes that means we have to be the bad guys."

"Ugh." he drones as they reached the door, a mop and water bottle acquired. "I'm so over being the bad guy."

"You and me both. Ready?"

"Not really." And he opened the door. 

Peter was curled up on himself, rocking back and forth. Every once in a while he would let out a small whine. 

Bucky set to work cleaning up the room, while Natasha positioned herself at the side of the bed, face conveniently away from the camera. 

"Peter. Peter. Can you roll over a little?"

No response. Hell. 

"Who do we call Pete? All I need is a name."

He let out a little whine, and shifted towards her in the bed. 

"There we go. Who do you want us to call? Who can help you?" 

His breathing became labored. Bucky felt his heart tighten with each ragged breath. This kid was so strong. He was such a natural hero, so effortlessly good. Bucky couldn't let this be the end of his story.

"Come on Peter," he said, careful not to face him. He couldn't let Tony realize what they were doing. Steve was going to be so mad. "don't make us watch you die."

The guilt approach seemed to work because Peter croaked in a thin voice and said "Wade. Save me."

Natasha tipped a little water into his mouth, most of which spilled out, but it was better than nothing. They left shortly after and headed straight for the locker room. 

When they got there they would have to act fast, or the others would notice what they were up to. They reached Peter's locker, where his suit, backpack, and phone were. 

Natasha pulled out her phone and played a recording of Peter saying "Unlock. Permission: Spiderman." The lock popped open. 

"You have those for everybody, don't you?" he asked. Nat just shrugged. 

She grabbed Peter's phone and punched in the password. Unreal. She scrolled through his recent contracts and said "Oh fuck."

"What?"

She held the screen up so he could see. The contact name said: Wade Wilson. 

"Tony and Steve are going to kill him."  
\-----

"Guys. Please calm down. He made a choice." Bucky and Natasha were in the middle of getting an ear-full. "I already briefed him on his way over here."

Thor had gone to see if he could get more information out of Enchantress, so they only had to face the wrath of Steve and Tony. 

"You two are in time-out. You don't get to talk!" Tony yelled. "I just can't believe he would do this. That he wouldn't tell us. I thought the kid was smart. How stupid can he be?"

On the front gate monitor they watched Deadpool get out of a yellow cab in front of the compound. He gave the driver a high-five before pulling a plastic crate from the back seat. He was in full uniform. From what Bucky could tell Deadpool had been on a job when he called. 

They watched Deadpool lean into the camera and yell "Lucy! I'm HOOOOOoooome!"

"I am not letting him in." Tony says stubbornly. 

"Yes you are." Nat says, crossing her arms. "This is what Peter wanted. He knows he's dying."

They glanced back at the monitor in his room. Right now, he was having another seizure. Tony and Steve both held the same expression. Bucky knew it well. The face of someone who desperately wants to help, but can't. 

"Tony, let him in." Steve sounded defeated. 

"You heard the man Friday. Let him in."

A Friday drone escorted him through the compound to the monitor room. He kicked the door open and strode in. "Where is he?" his voice was dark and serious. Never a good sign with this guy. 

"We need to talk with you before you go in there." Bucky said. 

"ZOMG Winter Soldier!" Deadpool cried, dropping the plastic box as he brought his hands comically to his cheeks. "When I was a baby merc I wanted to be juuuust like you. Now my kill count is way higher though."

"Some of us have to avoid getting shot. I'd say that takes more skill."

"Not the time Buck." Steve said sternly. 

Deadpool gasped, and flung himself at the monitor showing Peter's room, wrapping his arms around it and pressing his cheek to the screen. "My baby boy!" he wailed. "Start talking. Every extra minute he is in pain I'm cutting off someone's finger. It took me too long to get back to my place and grab my stuff. Lucky I live so close."

Steve starts right in. "How long have you known him?"

"I met Spidey in the field when he was pretty green. He was still 15. We've done lots of team-ups since then though." He wouldn't let go of the screen. 

"And when did you start dating."

"It's been nine months and three days." he says with a dreamy sigh. 

"Do you know his secret identity?"

"I found out by accident (not that I knew who he was.) I would never tell, scouts honor!"

"Is he a virgin?"

"Oh yeah. I was dubious at first because he's a really good kisser, but it was pretty obvious when we started fooling around more."

Tony was steadily turning more and more red. 

"Right. Have you discussed... " Steve trailed off. 

"Jeez dad, ya gonna get your shotgun out? I promise to have him back by 10 or whenever a mysterious magical off-switch appears."

"How's this for a shotgun." Tony says, leveling his gauntlet at Deadpool's head. 

"Tik-tok Tin Can. The longer we wait the more he gets hurt. And I'm putting that on you for not calling me sooner."

"Just answer the question Deadpool." Nat said, putting a hand on Tony's arm to lower it. 

"Right. Did we talk about doing the nasty? What do you think the box is for?"

Everyone turned to the abandoned crate suspiciously. It was an unassuming blue bin, but the top was covered in cherry stickers and labeled in sharpie. It said: FOR PETIE PIE'S SPECIAL DAY. NO PEEKING TILL AUGUST 10TH. 

Tony held a hand up and shot the ceiling with his repulser. Bits of ceiling tile rained down on everyone. 

"It's his eighteenth birthday." Deadpool said in a stage whisper. 

"Did he know about this?" Tony growled. 

"Of course!" Deadpool cried in indignation. "I could barely get him to wait, but I know you hero types like your rules and stuff. I can't help it if I'm irresistible." 

"How can we trust you?" Steve asked. 

"Look Sherlock and Captain Crunch, I would never ever do anything to hurt my Petie Pie. He is the only good thing about this ugly, God forsaken world. He means everything to me."

Tony looked like he wanted to say something, but then Friday cut him off. 

"Boss! His heart stopped for 3 seconds. It's back to normal now."

"Okay, talk over." Bucky cut in. "I'll take you to him, let's go."

Deadpool scooped up his box and leveled a truly murderous glare at Tony. "If anything that happens in there is recorded I will burn this entire place to the fucking ground. This is between me and my sweetie. And the readers, but only because I haven't figured out how to get rid of them yet."

"Yeah, yeah just get going!" Nat said.  
\-----

Peter was suspended in darkness, blacker than any black, a void. But where a void should be nothing, there was only pain. Pain was everything. Every fiber, every follicle, every cell and atom, raw and seething in it. He stayed there for what seemed like so long, but then, what was time in a void? 

He tried. He tried so hard to stay, but he felt himself drift away. Away from his body, away from his will, away from his purpose. 

What was his purpose? He couldn't remember. Why did he want to stay? There was something he had wanted so badly. It was almost gone now. 

And so, Peter drifted. 

Peter

What was that? 

Goddamnit come on 

This was it! This was what he wanted! 

Come back to me

Peter felt himself slide back into his body. He was being lifted up. Arms encircled him. The most wonderful arms in the world. His eyes fluttered open for a second. 

"Welcome back baby boy."

There he was. The only thing Peter wanted. 

"Wade. You came to save me."

"Fuck yeah I did sweet cheeks."

And then they were kissing. 

It was the most comforting feeling Peter had ever experienced. It spread from his lips, throughout his body. Warm and glowing and wonderful. He melted into the kiss, trying weakly to bring their bodies closer. Wade pulled him in and Peter threw his arms around his neck. 

The moment their bodies met Peter felt like he'd been struck by lightning. He pulled back in surprise to see that they were both glowing green. It was gone in a flash. 

Wade shot him a toothy grin and said, "Green means go! I guess the party don't start till I walk in."

Peter, finally gaining control of his limbs, climbed into Wades lap and kissed him again. Where the first kiss had been slow and lazy, this kiss was desperate. Peter clung to Wade, bringing his hands up to the sides of his rough face. It was all tongue and teeth and it was glorious. Peter moaned around Wade's tongue, unable to help himself. It was unlike anything he had ever felt. In fact, Peter was beginning to think he had never felt anything before this moment. 

Wade let out a soft growl and reached around Peter, grabbing his ass with both hands. Peter squeeked as his hips were pulled forward to meet Wade's for the first time. They didn't have time to savor the feeling however, as they both jerked, gasping, and collapsed together. Peter gasped for air. Had they really just…?

"Hey Petey, did you just come?"

"Mmmhm."

"Oh thank God! If it was just me that would have been so embarrassing."

Peter nuzzled his face in the crook of Wade's neck, loving the feeling of being so close. Wade was warm and safe. Wade would make him feel better. 

"Baby, how are you feeling?"

"Hmmm."

He felt so happy being held like this, but it wasn't enough. He needed more. More of everything. He wanted Wade to touch him everywhere. He pressed himself closer, trying to get as much contact as possible, but was thwarted by the fabric of Wade's suit. 

Why was he in his suit? 

"Petey Pie, can you look at me for a second?"

He didn't want to, but Wade had asked, so Peter reluctantly looked up at him. Good. His mask was off. He reached up to run his hands over the scarred head, loving the warmth of his skin. 

"You're not awake yet are you? That's okay baby, I'm gonna make this so good for you, don't you worry. Gonna spoil you rotten." He reached behind them to grab something. A water bottle. "Can you drink a little something for me?"

Peter buried his head again. He didn't want to. There were much better things they could be doing right now. 

"Be good for me. Last chance."

He was trying to be good! He turned, and began licking at Wade's neck, which caused him to shiver. 

"Alright then, Bad Cop time."

Wade ran his hands through Peter's hair, which he loved, until he grabbed a handful and pulled his head back. 

Okay scratch that. Peter loved that too. He looked into Wade's eyes, panting and unbelievably hard. How had he not noticed how hard he was before? 

Wade bit the cap off the bottle and took a large swig before bringing their mouths together. Water flooded into Peter's mouth and he began to panic and choke, but Wade coaxed him through it, running his hands through his hair until he swallowed. A small stream of water trickled out of the corner of his mouth, running down his chin and throat in an absolutely lewd fashion. 

Before Peter could catch his breath Wade was coming in again. This time, he knew what to expect, and swallowed the water gratefully before deepening the kiss. He sighed as it ran down his throat. He hadn't realized how dry it was. He let Wade take over the kiss, and he felt like he was being devoured. It felt so intimate, like his breath was being sucked from him. Their tongues moved together in a now-familiar pattern. 

Wade repeated the process several times until Peter was a gasping mess in his lap, and the bottle was empty. 

"That's a good baby bird." Wade said, petting his head. "I guess that was less Bad Cop and more Sexy-Stripper-Cop but really, there's only so much you can ask of a man in this situation."

Peter needed more. He pulled himself up to lick wetly at any skin he could reach. He loved the way the scarred texture felt as it ran along his tongue. It sent a spike of pleasure running through him. 

"Oh baby." Wade sighed. He placed his hands on Peters hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on his hip bones. They dipped ever so slightly under the brim of Peter's underwear and he couldn't help but shiver at the sensation. 

"I'm so sorry Petey, but I can't hold back anymore."

He pulled Peter hips forward to grind their clothed erections together and oh God it was exactly what he needed. He could feel his come from earlier slicking him up as they moved. This was the first time he'd ever really felt Wade, but he could tell he was huge, and just as hard as he was. 

Wade held his hips in place and bucked into him at a relentless pace. Peter squirmed in his grip, lost in the feeling. This was Wade. He wanted him, and it felt so fucking good. He could feel his strong thighs moving underneath him. He closed his eyes and threw his head back as a familiar feeling began to well up inside him. 

"Peter, look at me. I wanna see."

He locked eyes with Wade and it was over. The absolute hunger he saw in those eyes pushed him over the edge. He came hard, spilling into his briefs for the second time. Wade followed after a few more thrusts. 

For a long moment the sat, Peter still in Wade's lap, catching their breath, their foreheads pressed together. 

He was blown away. In the whole time they had been together, they had only ever made out, with some groping, but it had all been over their clothes. Wade had always stopped him when things began to get heavy. It had made them both quite frustrated, but Wade promised it was going to be worth it, that waiting would make it sweeter someday. 

How many nights had he touched himself, wishing Wade was there with him? He'd imagined Wade stroking him, whispering filthy thoughts in his ear. What kind of faces would be make? 

The real thing was so much better than any fantasy Peter could ever come up with. Wade was right here, holding him. He could hear him breathing, feel his hands on his hips, smell that dark, warm scent that belonged to him alone. 

"Oh Baby Boy. " Wade finally broke the silence, "I'm so sorry. I really wanted to talk about this first, but this magic is strong fuckin' stuff. The love of my life was right here, with his sweet little ass in my lap and-"

"Wade it's okay. I love you." 

"Aww Petey Pie I love you too! Seriously, every time you say that I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up and it was all a dream the whole time. What a shitty ending that would be!"

"As shitty as The Last Jedi." Peter said with a little smile. 

Wade clasped Peter's face between his hands, and pulled him back to meet his gaze. 

"Rosy cheeks, bright eyes, Spidey humor… welcome back to the land of the living! Population: pissed off boyfriend."

"Wade I'm so sor-"

"Nooope nope nope. You are going to be extremely sorry later, I'll make sure of that, but right now we have other shit to deal with." There was a dark tone to his voice. Peter was not looking forward to that conversation. "Jesus, this magic don't quit!"

He was right. They were both hard again. 

"Quick huddle." Wade said, pulling them apart a little. It was probably a good idea so they could both think more clearly. "You're not hurting anymore right?"

"Nope. I'm feeling great." Peter blushed. That was a bit too enthusiastic. 

"Good to hear." Wade said with a wink. "So it seems like the magic doesn't care about doing the actual do. You just need to get off."

"I guess?" What the fuck was he supposed to say? This entire situation was embarrassing. 

"Baby, what that means is that we can keep doing this. If you're not ready we can wait until your birthday."

Oh. Peter hadn't really thought about it yet. They had already waited this long, and if they waited until his birthday Tony and Steve couldn't throw Wade in the Vault. Oh shit. Tony and Steve probably knew he was here. That went in the pile of things to deal with later. 

"I see those gears turning Petey Pie. Wanna share with the class?"

"It's just, this sucks you know? We were so close. My birthday is in 15 days! I hate that I'm messing up my first time because of the job! You had all these plans, and the secret bucket, and everything."

"Oh my sweet baby boy," Wade said, pulling him in for a hug, "I just wanted your first time to be special and perfect because you are special and perfect. Too good, too pure for this world. Yeah, we can wait and not let some Asgarian bitch spoil our fun, or... " he said, running his hands through his hair, "we could look at this as an opportunity."

"Wade, that's your plotting voice."

"Is not! But think about it sweet cheeks! We have at least five hours of unlimited boners. That sounds like the best first time ever to me. I actually wish I'd thought of it."

Peter hadn't thought of it like that before. It was starting to sound pretty good. The idea of Wade fucking him endlessly made him shiver. Peter felt himself growing more and more aroused, partly from the topic, partly from the stupid spell. 

"Just think love, we can explore everything. Sure I'll lose the deposit on the elephant, and I'll have to return those 50 gallons of pudding, but this could be even better! We're only three hundred... " he glanced at his Hello Kitty watch "forty-two hours early. Wow that sounds like a lot when you say it out loud."

Peter did not want to know what the pudding was for. 

But he did want Wade. 

"It's up to you Baby Boy. I aim to please."

"I love you," he said, mustering all of his courage, "and not just because I feel like my dick is about to explode. I want to be with you, against my better judgement and everyone's advice. I've made some really stupid choices today, but this isn't one of them." He took a deep breath. "Wade, will you please just fuck me already?"

"Gasp! So naughty already!" Wade kissed him on the forehead. "It would be my honor and privilege to pop your cherry my good sir."

"Ugh." Peter complained." How are you still talking? I'm so horny I can barely think."

"That's my secret," He replied with a wolfish grin. "I'm always horny."


	2. You Asked For It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating the tags, so take a peak before you dive in. You have been warned. Also I can't believe I got this chapter done so soon. No promises on the next one.

They both came twice more before Wade finally got Peter out of his lap, laying on his back on the bed. 

"Ugh. This suit is becoming a biohazard." Wade whined. 

"So take it off."

"Me-ow~ Somebody's feeling feisty! But seriously, are you sure? It doesn't get any prettier." He said, pointing at his exposed face. 

"Wade, we've had this conversation like a million times. You are really, really sexy and I want to see you. It's not fair that I'm almost naked and you're not."

"Fine! But just remember you asked for it!" he said, as he began to strip off the suit. 

Peter watched, fascinated. Deadpool's costume was a little more complicated than Spiderman's, which he had designed to come off quickly and fit under civilian clothes. Wade removed his gloves first, followed by his belt and straps. He tossed them over his shoulder and across the room like he didn't remember that there were grenades attached. When he started in on his boots, he slowed down, meeting Peter's gaze. 

"You liking this? Watching me strip?"

Peter gulped and nodded. Wade's hands reached for the body suit and slowly began to peel away the heavy leather, to reveal more scarred, red skin. Sweat glistening off his toned muscles. Peter licked his lips. He had known how strong Wade was but damn! The man was built! He wondered how much of it was his powers, and how much was good old fashioned hard work. Peter imagined Wade in a gym, lifting weights, stretching, bench-pressing twice Peter's body weight. He almost started drooling. They should definitely work out some time. 

Peter was brought back from his fantasy when Wade had removed his costume and was left only wearing some very tiny briefs. They were an absolute mess from their earlier activities. He could see Wade's dick straining against the thin fabric. Peter had never seen anything so lewd or wonderful, but what was most exciting was that they were just getting started. 

He couldn't stand it anymore. He reached down to stroke himself, but Wade grabbed his wrist. 

"Wait. Let me."

Peter nodded and watched with curiosity as Wade dipped his fingers under the waistband of his briefs and slid them down his hips. It was agonizingly slow, and Peter felt his cheeks burn. No-one had ever seen him naked like this. There was also the fact that he was covered in his own release, and it was getting super sticky.

He gasped when they finally got low enough to let his cock spring free. Wade moaned and that was a sound Peter wanted to hear again and again. 

"Oh my God, Baby Boy. You're already so messed up. You look even better than I'd imagined."

Peter lifted his hips so he could remove them completely. Wade brought the soiled garment up to his face and inhaled deeply. 

"Ugh. That's so gross!"

"You're gross! Wait… no! You're beautiful! Total Babe! Forever swipe right!" He tossed them away to join the pile of other unless clothes. 

"Fine. I forgive you… this time. Now will you hurry up?"

"Now it's your turn." Wade replied, grabbing Peter's hands and bringing them to his hips. "I would have worn something lacey if I'd known we were doing a show and tell."

Peter wanted to savor this, he really did, but he was also desperate for more action, so he used his super strength and ripped the briefs right off of Wade's hips. 

Wade yelped, his hands flying to cover his crotch. "Spiderman! How could you?" he cried in mock horror. 

"Come on! I've waited so long!" he gently pulled Wade's hands away so he could get a good look. Everything about him was big. His dick wasn't just long, it was thick, and covered in scars like the rest of him. It probably felt completely different from his own, and Peter was determined to find out. 

Before he could, Wade nudged his shoulder. "Lay back Baby, I wanna see how you do it first."

Peter laid back, heart pounding. Wade wanted to watch him jerk off. Suddenly all his confidence was gone. What if he looked weird, or wasn't doing it right? Was there a wrong way to do it. 

Wade must have felt him tense up, because he made a shushing noise and settled on his knees over Peter. "Don't worry Love, just do it like you would at home. What do you normally start with?" 

Wade's voice was so grounding. Peter reached down and took himself in his hand, stroking gingerly. His cock jumped happily at the touch. He ran his thumb over the head, and that felt really good. It made him care a little less that Wade was watching intently. He let his eyes fall closed and just focused on the feeling. 

"Do you think about me when you touch yourself?"

He nodded, unable to say it out loud. Of course he did. 

"Do you pretend I'm the one touching you?"

Peter nodded again, picking up the pace. He spread his legs wider, and let out a sharp breath he didn't realize he was holding. He let one of his hands stray downward, to play with his hole, running a finger around the rim. 

"Yes. Wait ohmygodbaby. Do you finger yourself thinking about me? Fuck!" Wade's breath was coming out harshly. 

Peter opened his eyes to see Wade, stroking himself furiously over him. Peter moaned. 

"Was that a yes?" 

"Yes." he breathed. 

"Oh fuck. Petey I think I'm gonna have a heart attack. I'm serious. Is my nose bleeding? Oh shit. Can you put it in?" Wade was practically begging him. How could he say no? 

He pushed the tip of his finger in to the first knuckle. It was better with lube, but not too terrible. He tilted his hips up so Wade could get a better view. 

Wade moaned loudly, and came in hot spurts onto Peter's stomach. It was warm and thick. Peter was shocked at how good it felt. It wasn't even a little gross, like he'd feared. Wade had found him so sexy, he had come without really doing anything. He followed suit right after. Wade leaned in to kiss him as he rode out the pleasure. It was way more intense than when he did it by himself, and Wade wasn't even touching him! 

The kiss turned into a lazy slide of tongues as they came down. Peter tried to enjoy the bliss, because he knew pretty soon the desperation would return. 

Wade pulled away to Peter's dismay. 

"Last serious talk, I promise."

"Hmmm. What now?"

"I want you to follow my lead. Let me spoil you Baby Boy, I'll make it so good. Can you do that?"

"Yeah." Peter said. He was still feeling pretty self conscious so letting go and letting Wade make the decisions sounded amazing. "But you have to let me touch you sometimes. I want you to feel good too."

"So precious. Of course! This is all about you! Real quick though, we need a safe word. I don't want to stop to talk every time we try something new, and I think you'll like it better if I surprise you. So any ideas?"

"What's wrong with don't or stop?" Wade was still hovering over Peter, and he could feel their bodies starting to warm up again. 

"Sometimes it's hard to tell 'Dont! Stop!' from 'Oh yeah, don't stop.' If it's something weird there's no way to confuse it."

"Okay. You're the expert." Peter searched his brain for potential words. "Yeah, I got nothing."

"Okay what about… Hugh Jackman. Can you remember that?"

"Sure." Peter had no idea who that was. Maybe an old-person reference? Whatever. He had given up trying to get Wade's stranger references a long time ago. 

"Sweet! Now you just lay back and enjoy Baby Boy. I'm gonna show you why they really call me the Merc with a Mouth." Wade's face was alight with a wicked grin. What did he mean by that? 

Oh. He began pressing soft kisses to Peter's chest, and slowly began to trail lower. Peter let his head fall back and threw an arm over his eyes. His whole body was ridiculously sensitive right now. Every new spot Wade touched caused him to twitch and shudder. 

Wade made his way lower and lower until he was doting kisses long Peter's hip bone. He began licking at the crook between his hip and thigh, and Peter couldn't stop his whole body from jumping. He moaned and closed his eyes tighter. He had no idea he would be so sensitive there. Just the smallest touch had his dick hard and dripping. Wade definitely noticed, because he doubled down on that spot, sucking until Peter was sure he would bruise. 

"Wade!" Peter warned. 

"It's okay Baby Boy," he replied, barely pausing in this task. "you come as much as you want to." Then he bit into him and the pain was sharp, but somehow so good. Peter came, adding to the growing mess on his stomach. He groaned and lifted his head to see what was happening. 

Wade was licking their mixed come off of him. 

Peter wanted to be grossed out, he really did, but the way Wade was licking at him like he was delicious made him want to come all over again. 

He spotted the huge purple bruise springing up on his thigh, complete with teeth marks. Wade hadn't broken the skin, but he'd been close. Peter liked that even after all of this was over, he could look back at it and know that this was real. 

"Was that too rough baby?"

"Nope." Peter assured him. "I kinda liked it. Just don't bite any harder okay?"

"Righto!" Wade said, and then Peter gasped as his tongue flicked out to lick a wet stripe up his spent cock. Peter was not ready for that. He was getting hard again as Wade licked playfully along his head, and then ducked down to suck on his balls. Peter keened and had to stop his thighs from clenching around Wade's head. 

Wade shifted Peter so that his legs were draped over his shoulders. Then he stood on his knees, lifting Peters bottom half into the air, leaving his shoulders balanced on the bed. 

"What the- ooooh my God!"

"Don't worry Baby Boy," Wade said sweetly. "Daddypool's got you."

And then he swallowed Peter all the way to the base. 

Peter screamed. It was so wet and warm, and Wade's tongue was practically massaging his dick. He was moaning uncontrollably and he didn't even care because Wade was so good. A bit of jealousy sprung up when Peter thought of how he must have learned to do this, but he didn't have time to dwell on it because Wade was busy trying to suck his soul out. Without thinking, he pushed his hips up a little, and he heard Wade moan sloppily around his dick as he slid in just a little further. He took that as a good sign, and tested it again. Wade gave his leg a little pat, urging him until he was thrusting into his throat at a steady pace. 

The stimulation was mind-blowing, and every time Wade moaned it sent vibrations humming through him. He was beginning to get light-headed from the position, which only added to the high he was feeling. He felt Wade snake his arms under him and use his hands to spread Peter's ass cheeks apart. He felt his hole being stretched, and cried "I'm gonna-"

Before he could finish his warning Wade sucked hard, and Peter came down his throat with a groan. Wade kept sucking at him and his vision blacked out for a moment. When he was finally done and licked clean, Wade lowered him back to the bed. 

"Whoa." was all the praise he could manage. 

"Sweet Sassy Molassy, you are flexible. Like more than a fucking Olympic gymnast. Seriously, do your abs hurt at all from thrusting in that position?"

"Nope." Peter grinned. Apparently superpowers were handy for sex too. Who knew? Probably all the other heroes. Peter was the only one young enough to not have tested it out before. 

"Well it's insanely hot. Can you get your foot behind your head? I wish I could do that." 

Peter smiled, and leaned up to plant a kiss on Wade's nose. 

"So what's next boss?"

"Hmmmm" he said, sitting back into a contemplative pose. "What else can we get up to?"

Peter had a few ideas, taking the opportunity to oogle Wade's body. He was still hard and suddenly Peter knew what he wanted to do. He had gotten off two times now, and Wade must be about to burst. He crawled forward so that he was sprawled on his stomach, with his head in Wade's lap. 

"Mind if I try something?" he asked. 

"Petey you don't have to-"

"I want to."

"Okay then. I will shut up. Do whatever you want." 

He stared at Wade's body for a moment, really taking it all in. He could see the scars shifting ever so slowly as a result of his healing factor. It had frightened him when he'd first seen it, but that was a long time ago. Now all he could see was Wade. 

He reached out tentatively, running his fingers over Wade's thighs, over the rough texture. He felt him shiver beneath the touch. He glanced up to see Wade staring down at him. The look on his face was absolutely desperate. 

Peter turned his attention back to his work, bringing his hands to grasp Wade's length. That earned him a soft gasp. Peter grinned up at him and started stroking, not wanting to tease him too much. He was so hard it looked painful. 

"Oh my God baby! Yes. Fuck. That's so good!" Leave it to Wade to be talkative at a time like this. Not that Peter minded, he loved that voice. 

Peter reached down with his other hand to cup Wade's balls. He might be a virgin, but he at least knew how to handle a dick. Wade stepped up his praising. 

"Petey just like that! Don't stop!" 

He could feel Wade growing more desperate. He was close, but there was one more thing Peter wanted to try. He leaned down and licked at the head of his cock. 

"Oh fuck. Oh fuck!" 

Peter wrapped his mouth around the head and sucked like Wade had done before. There was something so erotic about having Wade's dick in his mouth. The way he could make him lose it with the slightest flick of his tongue made Peter feel powerful. He loved every little noise he made, that it was all for him. 

He tried to relax his throat and sink down further, feeling his lips stretch around Wade's girth. He could barely get halfway before he was choking. 

"She's gonna blow!" Wade cried, and grabbed Peter's face. He pulled him off just in time to come, hot spurts hitting his cheeks and chin. Peter was a little disappointed Wade had pulled away. 

"What did you do that for?"

"Oh Petey my Sweetie, you were choking. Swallowing takes a bit of practice. Also I didn't want to turn you off your first time, because if I don't get another one of those in the future, I'm gonna go on a murderous rampage. So, no pressure."

"So how about I get some more practice?"

"Ohhhhh so tempting," Wade said, lifting Peter to sit in his lap. "But we have a lot more to get to on this grand tour of Sex City, and I'm driving this bus today. If you look to your left, you'll find a forbidden treasure trove. Now let's take a closer look!"

Peter looked over the side of the bed and saw the secret box. It had been sitting in Wade's living room for two months now, ever since they had decided to have sex on his birthday. 

"Wade, did you carry that in here? Oh my God! Did the Avengers see it? I can't believe you!" Peter wasn't sure if he was laughing, yelling or both. This was so like him. 

"What? I wanted to bring your presents. I'm unwrapping mine early, so I figured it was only fair." Wade pulled him into a big hug. 

"Can't we just have sex?" Peter asked, his voice muffled against some outstanding pecs. 

"Of course we can! I just want options. We have a lot of time to fill, and I wouldn't want you to get bored. Plus I'm now devoting my life to finding every kink you have, especially the ones you don't know about yet."

Wade pulled back, and used the sheet on the bed to wipe them clean, or tried to anyway. Peter still felt pretty sticky. 

"There you go Baby Boy! Now, Daddypool will take care of everything. Lie down on your stomach AND NO PEEKING." He went to rummage in the box while Peter was getting situated. He positioned himself so that Wade would get a good look at his ass when he turned around. Maybe that would convince him to hurry up. 

"Where's the goddamn- AHA! Thought you could hide from me did ya?" Peter heard Wade kneel at the edge of the bed. He turned his head to see what was happening. 

"I said no peeking~" Wade sang and gave Peter's ass a little smack. "Be a good boy."

He wanted to show Wade how good he could be, but that slap had smarted in a delicious way, and it made him want to misbehave a little. 

"What if I want to be a bad boy?" Peter said, turning around to meet Wade's stare. 

Wade closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he spoke his voice was deep, with a dangerous edge creeping in. "Peter, I need you to behave right now, because I'm crazy into this sub/dom shit, and I am this close to fucking you so hard you cry. I don't want that for your first time, so please be patient and let me prep you right okay? We can pick this up again in a little while, yeah?" 

Wade sounded completely on edge. Peter hadn't realized how much he was holding back to make sure he was comfortable. This side of Wade frightened him sometimes, but right now, it was making him drip precum all over the sheets beneath him. 

"I'm sorry Wade. I'll be good, I promise." Peter said softly, pressing his face into the mattress. 

"I know Baby," he said, grabbing Peter by the hips and dragging his ass to the edge of the bed, his legs hanging over. "You're gonna be so good. I just know it."

Peter felt so exposed in this position. The urge to look at Wade for reassurance was incredibly strong, but he resisted. He was being good right now. Wade spread his ass cheeks with his hands and began to lick around his hole. He could feel his tongue, his breath, his fingers digging into his skin. He moaned loudly. 

"Damn Baby Boy. You put all hentai voice actors to shame. Don't hold back, I want to hear everything."

So he didn't. Little gasps fell from his lips as he trembled, bent over on the edge of the bed. He gripped the sheets hard, trying to anchor himself. It was almost maddening, how good he felt. He ground his aching erection into the mattress, and Wade let him. 

Then Wade pushed his tongue inside, and that was even better. Peter's breaths came out in short gasps as it moved around inside him. It was wet and warm and nothing like his fingers, but he needed more. He wanted more inside him. He was so close already. 

"Wade - please. I need more."

Wade moaned against him and a finger slipped in next to his tongue, pressing against his rim. He rubbed it around, stretching him, soothing the burn with that amazing tongue. Wade pushed Peter's thighs together and began thrusting against them, in time with his tongue. Peter set his own pace to meet him and was coming in seconds. 

As he rode out his orgasm he felt Wade leave his hole, grab his hips, and begin thrusting against him furiously, dick sliding between his ass cheeks. The feeling of Wade using him to chase release was intoxicating. 

"Oh God Baby! I love you so much." He panted, spilling over Peter's back. They stayed like that for a few moments, catching their breath. 

Wade leaned over him, peppering kisses along his shoulders and the back of his neck. 

"I'm so sorry Peter. You know self-control isn't my forte. I don't want to scare you."

"You didn't. I'm sorry I pushed you. We should definitely try that again sometime though."

"Oh yeah?" Wade asked, pressing his body down on top of Peter, pinning him to the mattress. "You like it when Daddypool bosses you around?" 

"Yeah." he sighed, melting into the feeling of being trapped under Wade. 

"Good." he whispered in Peter's ear, sending a shiver through his body. "Let's put a pin in that." 

Wade slid down between Peter's legs to sit back on the floor. "Remember. No peeking."

"Okay." What was he doing now? He heard the sound of a cap opening. Wade laid a hand on the small of his back. 

"Do you remember your safe word?" he asked. 

"Hugh Jackman?" 

"Very good. Now stop me if any of this hurts. I want to go nice and slow."

Peter felt something slick at his entrance. The cap must have been lube. It circled around his rim a few times before pushing in, just a bit. It was a finger, Peter deduced. It pushed against his walls, stretching. 

Peter squirmed a bit. This was always the most uncomfortable part. There wasn't enough stimulation and his muscles weren't relaxed yet. Patience. Wade knew what he was doing. He was going to take care of him. 

"How many have you gotten in before?" Wade asked, voice husky. 

How many what? Oh. 

"I've um… I've gotten up to three before."

"Hnnn okay. That will make this a little easier then." Wade said, pushing the finger in deeper, up to the next knuckle. "You ever play with your prostate?"

Peter tried to answer, but Wade's finger was probing around inside him, and he moaned instead. Words. He could use words. 

"Only twice."

"Oh you sweet thing." Wade cooed. "Were you tired of waiting for your birthday?"

"Yes! I want you so bad!" Peter cried out as Wade sunk the finger all the way in. He seemed to be specifically avoiding the area Peter knew would drive him crazy. He tried to rock his hips back, but stopped himself. He was going to be good. 

"Good boy, stay still for me. You can do it." Another slick finger began to make its way inside. Yes, this was what he wanted. "Relax Baby Boy, I've got you."

Peter took a deep breath as the second finger stretched him open to join the first. Wade began to move them in and out, ever so slowly. That slow slide was everything. Peter could barely think, he could only feel. He was panting and shivering under Wade's measured touch, but it still wasn't enough. 

"Please." He whispered into the mattress. 

Wade scissored his fingers inside Peter, making him cry out in pleasure. He worked him open so carefully. He was a whimpering mess by the time Wade added a third finger. He would stop every once in a while to add more lube. Peter had no idea how much time had passed. He was beyond hard, but Wade carefully kept him right on the edge for what felt like ages. 

Finally, Peter couldn't stand it anymore. He pleaded between desperate moans. 

"Please! Please! I'm being good! I'll be so good. Please!"

"You are so good Baby Boy! You didn't even notice when I put the fourth one in did you? It's okay. Come apart for me." Wade pressed a kiss to his lower back and crooked his fingers in just the right way. Peter's vision swam as Wade brushed over his prostate. The pleasure was so sharp and amazing. He let out a relieved sob. A few thrusts was all it took for him to come, grinding into the mattress. His body slumped, boneless into the soft material. 

Before he could get too comfortable however, Wade removed his fingers with a wet sound. Peter was about to complain about the emptiness when he felt something hard and large pressing against him. Was it-? No, it wasn't warm. A toy? 

"Deep breath for me Petey. In..."

He complied. 

"...and out."

As Peter released his breath, he felt the toy press inside of him. It was a little bigger than Wade's fingers. Just when he thought he couldn't take anymore it crested, and he felt the base of the toy seated against his ass. He shuddered and moaned, overly sensitive from his recent orgasm. A butt plug? Really? 

Wade crawled up to the middle of the bed and motioned for Peter to follow. Every movement made the toy press around inside him. 

"Come here baby. You're being so good." Peter loved to hear those words. He was being good. He crawled to sit in Wade's lap. 

"I promise I'm gonna fuck you after this. It's just, I'm so close. I want it to last so can you help me out here?"

Peter was already dropping down to wrap his lips around Wade's cock. 

"Oh fuck yeah." Wade sighed. 

Peter bobbed his head up and down, licking and sucking enthusiastically. Soon. Wade was going to fuck him soon. He pulled off to catch his breath, and almost jumped to the ceiling when his ass started vibrating. Wade grinned and held up a remote in his left hand for Peter to see. 

"Keep going. You want me to fuck you right?"

Peter eagerly started back up, moaning around Wade as the plug drove him crazy. The vibrations were shooting straight to his dick. 

"That's it Baby Boy. God, you're even better than last time. You've been so good this whole time. You must want my dick so bad."

Peter sank all the way down, until the head of his cock was brushing the back of his throat. He was careful to keep his throat relaxed, and breathe through his nose. He felt so full at both ends. He let his mind float away, relying on his instincts to keep him going. Wade's hands threaded into his hair and pulled ever so slightly. 

"Baby, I'm gonna shoot."

Wade tried to drag his head up, but Peter wasn't done yet. He used his strength to root himself in place. Wade thrust into his mouth, spurts of salty come filling his mouth. He tried to swallow, but there was too much and some of it leaked out the sides of his mouth. It was bitter, but the taste made Peter feel tingly. 

"You little minx! That's cheating." Wade said, but there was no real anger in his voice. "Fuck me, it was hot though." He leaned in to lick the excess come off of Peter's face, and then pulled him into a searing kiss. Peter was desperate, the toy still driving him crazy, but Wade was in no hurry, licking around languidly in Peters mouth. 

Peter reached between them to grasp Wade's length. He had to get him hard again so they could have sex. 

"Please. Please." Peter begged against Wade's lips. "I can't anymore."

"Oh Baby. You know I can't deny you anything. Just tell me what you want."

Peter was beyond holding back at this point. 

"I want you to take out this toy and fuck me into the mattress."

"Okay Baby Boy." Wade said, that dark edge creeping into his voice. "You asked for it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: the show you've all been waiting for. As usual, a big thanks to kendershire for fixing my spelling, and for the constant encouragment.


	3. #Worth It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while, but it's 95% porn so enjoy.

Peter trembled in Wade's lap. The toy vibrating inside him was driving him crazy, but it wasn't moving and it wasn't Wade, so it wasn't good enough. He squeezed Wade's recently spent cock, begging the magic to kick back in already. He was so close to getting what he wanted, and he had been so good the whole time. Wade had said so. 

"Okay Baby Boy. You asked for it." Wade growled. He shoved Peter's chest, not too hard though, and Peter let himself fall back onto the bed. Wade hovered over him, fingers playing with the end of the toy, which was tucked snuggly against his ass.

Wade pressed the button on the remote and Peter gasped and jerked as the vibrations increased. 

"You know, you have the most perfect ass I've ever seen. From the moment I first saw you, I've wanted nothing else but to grab it, and kiss it, and pound into it." He punctuated his sentence with another press of the button. "It's like you were made just for me. My sweet Baby Boy." 

Peter was losing his mind. He couldn't think, couldn't speak. There was still no way he was going to come like this though. It wasn't enough. 

Wade's hand grabbed at the base of the toy and began to pull it out slowly. Just when he thought they were finally going to get started, the toy almost out, Wade shoved it back in, hard. Peter wailed, grabbing at Wade's arms to ground himself. 

"Oooh Spidey, I'm so sorry. You've been so good for me, but you're so easy to tease."

Peter's mind scrambled desperately. There must be something that would make Wade stop stalling. 

"Wade. Please! I need you!"

Wade smiled down at him, so fondly. He slowly removed the plug and tossed it to the side. Peter wanted to weep with relief. 

Wade pulled away from him and grabbed something he had left on the side of the bed. A condom. 

Peter snatched it with lighting speed and tossed it away. 

"What the fuck?"

What could he do to make Wade lose control? What could he say? Suddenly Peter knew. 

"I want to feel you inside me…" he blushed and looked down, "Daddy."

Peter felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Wade moved so fast, one arm holding Peter down by the chest, the other pulling his chin up. Peter locked eyes with Wade and shuddered beneath him. His expression was more heated, more intense, than Peter had ever seen. 

"Say it again."

Peter felt like his whole body was on fire. 

"Daddy."

The world spun as Peter was man-handled up and onto his hands and knees. He could feel Wade's cock against his entrance, hands like vices on Peter's hips. He pressed back into the touch. 

"You wanted Daddy to fuck you into the mattress right?" he hissed in his ear. 

"Yes Daddy! Please." This was it. 

Wade pushed in with one smooth thrust, all the way to the hilt and Peter wailed, an orgasm ripping through him. Wade spread him so wide he was sure he would break. Tears slid from the corners of his eyes from the intensity as his dick jerked, untouched, spilling onto the sheets beneath him. Wave after wave of insane pleasure washed over him. Wade held him through it, even as his arms collapsed beneath him. He just held onto his hips and didn't move an inch. 

"Oh my sweet baby. Do you have any idea what it does to me to see you come apart like this?"

Wade sounded absolutely wrecked. Good. Peter was slowly coming back to himself, but he wasn't ready yet. He wanted to get lost in these feelings, deeper and deeper. He never wanted to come up for air. 

"Keep going." Peter's voice cracked as he said it. 

"You don't have to ask me twice!" Peter felt Wade pull almost all the way out, before he poured a generous amount of lube onto his dick and then slid back home. "Let me hear that sweet voice Baby Boy."

Peter couldn't stop himself if he wanted to. He cried out wanton encouragement. He was so sensitive it was painful, and he loved it. Wade set a slow pace, but every thrust was so deep and hard. It felt so intimate, so loving, like Wade wanted to savor every bit of him. 

"Oh yes Daddy! You feel so good!" That earned him a few extra hard thrusts. 

"Baby, you're so tight for me." Wade panted. He was still trying to hold back. Peter could hear it in his voice. 

"Please Daddy," he pleaded, "make me feel it! I'm all yours."

"All mine." Wade growled, picking up the pace. He could feel Wade's balls slapping against his ass with every thrust. Peter could feel his own arousal growing again, consuming him from the inside out. Nothing else mattered. No-one else existed. Just Wade. 

Peter finally gained the mobility to push his hips up against Wade's bruising grip. This caused the angle to change, allowing Wade to nail his prostate with every thrust. Peter cried out. He wasn't going to last long like this. 

"Shit, I feel you tightening up. Don't come yet. Be a good boy and wait for Daddy to fill you up. Can you be good?"

"I'll be good!" Peter cried, but he wasn't sure he could keep his promise. He wanted to be good, but Wade was abusing his sweet spot in the best way possible. He bit down on his lip hard. It wasn't being bad if he helped him get off faster right? It's what they both wanted. 

"I'll be so good Daddy! Don't stop! I want you to come inside!" A tiny voice in Peter's head told him he should be embarrassed, but that was obliterated when Wade actually growled, his thrusts growing erratic. He filed away dirty talk under things to drive Wade crazy. "Please Daddy! I've been waiting for so long! I've wanted this for-" 

Wade thrust so deep it made him dizzy. He felt him spilling inside, hot and deep, pumping in and out a few more times. He moaned low and sexy, pressing soft kisses along Peter's spine. 

Peter whined, the lack of stimulation coaxing him away from the edge. Wade didn't pull out, but wrapped his hands around Peter's straining cock, bringing him right back. He leaned over him, licking the shell of his ear, which made Peter moan even harder. 

"I've got you Baby Boy." Wade whispered against his ear. "You can come now."

Relief washed over Peter as Wade pumped him through another orgasm, mouthing at his ear. The lewd, wet sounds made Peter's whole body shudder as he came down. 

He felt Wade slip his strong arms under his shoulders and pull him up, to rest Peter's back against his chest. Peter let his head fall back into Wade's shoulder as he settled into Wade's lap. They were still connected, and Peter could feel their arousal growing already. There really was no end to this. 

Peter hummed happily and placed a soft kiss on Wade's throat. He felt amazing, but something was still bothering him. He could tell that Wade was holding back. He had to get him to give in and just feel. He had to just let it carry him away, like Peter was doing. 

"So on a scale of one to ten..." 

"Wade. Shut it. We aren't done yet."

"Well duh, but it's your first time and-"

"Not anymore. We just checked that one off the list. I'm not a kid. You don't have to be so careful with me." Peter rolled his hips down to demonstrate his point. 

"Careful? Baby, I was gonna save the kinky stuff for later but you just convinced me to fuck you doggy style with full-on daddy-kink goodness. Not what most people would pick for round one. Not that I'm complaining! I would be happy to do it vanilla forever if that's what you wanted, but I'm super happy that's not what you want."

Wade was babbling. Peter needed to get this back on-topic. Their inactivity was already starting to drive him crazy. 

"But you're still holding back! I can tell." Peter tilted his head to look at Wade's expression. "What are you afraid of?"

He felt the body behind him tense up. 

"Wade, I love you, and you're making me feel so amazing. What's wrong?"

Wade was silent for a few long moments. He took a shuddering breath and placed kisses on the top of Peter's head. 

"There's no fooling your smart ass is there? I'm scared because I'm so fucking mad and hurt right now. You should have called me sooner, and I know we said we'd talk later, but I can't help it. I'm trying really hard to be a good person, but I'm not. I don't want to hurt you. Fuuuuuuck! I wanted to do this after the spell wore off and not while you're naked and distracting."

"Wade, you're not going to hurt me." How many times had they had this fight? 

"I know you want me to give in to the magic. That's what you were doing earlier. As much as I would like to think you were just in sub space, I'm not that dumb. I feel it pulling at me, like it wants to drag my ass along for the ride but I don't know what I'd do if I let that happen." his voice was barely a whisper. "I'm not exactly sane, ya know?"

Peter understood how Wade was feeling. They'd had long, heartfelt discussions about his mental state, about what it felt like to never know if you were doing something good or bad until it was done. But Peter also knew that he wanted all of Wade. Even the scary parts. 

"I know," He replied, leaning his body back into Wade to comfort him. "but I'm gonna be selfish right now. I want everything you have Wade Wilson, and I promise I won't let you hurt me okay? If you try, I'll just knock you out. Deal?" 

To prove his point, he reached out and snapped one of the bed posts like a twig. "See? Super strength!" He giggled as he felt Wade begin to harden and grow inside him. 

"Really?"

"I can't help it! It's so sexy when you break stuff!" Wade cried, wrapping his arms around Peter and squeezing. He seemed to have snapped out of his mood. "You promise to knock me out if I get out of line?"

"I promise. Now come under with me. You'll love it." 

"Yeah, yeah. I can never say no to you Bubblebutt."

Wades hands began to run slowly over his body. In this position, pretty much everything was exposed to the light touches. Fingers ran over his torso and chest, feather light, making Peter shudder. One hand dipped down to run over his thigh, while the other came up to play with his nipples. Peters breath was becoming erratic. He moaned softly as Wade scraped him lightly with his nails. 

"You like that?" Wade asked, scratching a little harder down his inner thigh, and pinching at his nipple. 

"Yes." Peter sighed. He was so hard already, but the sense of urgency he'd had before had lessened. Wade was with him now, and he wanted Wade to be happy. He'd let him touch him as much as he wanted. They were feeling good together, with no barriers. Peter could feel him growing, stirring him up inside. 

Both hands were playing with his nipples now, rubbing and pinching. How was it possible to be this sensitive?

"Goddamn Petey, you are so fucking sexy. Like the sexiest Olympic gymnast ever. I bet you're more flexible though. Shit, I just want to touch every inch of you." 

Peter had always been a skinny kid, and even after getting his powers he didn't really bulk up much. Not like the other heroes, and certainly not like Wade, whose biceps were practically as big as Peter's thighs. 

"Nope. You're -ah- you're the sexy one." 

"OMG Baby Boy! Are you flirting with me? That's so gay!" Wade gave him a little thrust in response. 

"Hella gay." he moaned. "Now do that again."

"What? This?" he said, and pulled out almost all the way, slicked by his previous release, only to slam back in. 

"Ohhh God yes."

Wade's arm came up around his shoulders, holding him up like an iron bar, while the other came to rest on his hip. 

"You told me to let go right Baby?"

"Yes please." Peter's cock was aching and wet. He felt like he was at the top of a roller coaster, staring down the drop. 

"Then you'd better brace yourself."

That was all the warning Peter had before Wade's cock was drilling into him, fast and hard. The pace was brutal and desperate. Wade had been holding back for so long, not just today but since they'd met. Maybe it was his imagination or maybe it was the magic, but Peter could feel how much Wade wanted him. It was like a dam bursting, washing over them, and they were both helpless against it. 

Peter was grateful for Wade's iron grip, because he was thrusting so hard he would have collapsed otherwise. He arched his back against Wade's chest, spreading his legs more and moaning freely. He could take everything Wade had to give. 

Peter's whole body shook with a burst of pleasure when Wade found his prostate, and abused it thoroughly. He cried out with every thrust, completely at Wade's mercy. 

Wade wanted him this much. He had been so careful with Peter this whole time, to let him know he was loved, and make him feel safe. Peter appreciated that so much, but now they could truly be together, in all the ways they wanted. It must have been so painful for him to hide all of this passion, all of this lust, all of this love. 

"Baby," Wade rasped, "I'm gonna try something. Tap on me if you want me to stop."

Hadn't they already gone over this? What was the safe word for if they were going to talk about everything? 

The hand that was on Peter's hip slipped up and up, until it was resting lightly over his throat. 

Oh. 

Peter had read about people doing stuff like this on the Internet, but it was always presented as a bit of a joke. Did people really do this? Wade's hand was so big, the rough texture felt kinda good against the soft skin of his neck. 

Wade was letting go and asking for what he really wanted now. If this was what he wanted, Peter would give it a try. 

Peter gave a slight nod. 

Wade's thumb rested to one side of his adam's apple, while his fingers came up against the other side. He began to press lightly, almost massaging his throat. It was so gentle compared to how fast and desperate Wade was fucking him. 

Peter had been choked by a few villains in his day, and at first he had been apprehensive, but he could already tell this was completely different. This wasn't crushing or angry, it was extremely intimate. It made him acutely aware of his breathing, and the little pleading noises he was making. His hands came to rest on the arm that was holding him upright. This was partly to steady himself, and partly to stop himself from jerking off. He wanted this to last. 

Wade began increasing the pressure, slowly pressing his fingers into his neck. So far he could still breathe, but he could feel a jolt of adrenaline run through him. He really shouldn't like this sort of dangerous feeling, but his spider-sense wasn't going off, and it was exhilarating. 

He moaned extra loudly, not only because the added stimulation was amazing, but also to let Wade know he could keep going. 

"Yeah Baby, you like that? You like getting fucked hard, all at my mercy and shit? You reeeeally shouldn't trust me this much. You let me off the leash and I'll take everything I want."

Peter moaned. "Take it. Take everything." Wade was so hard, ramming inside him over and over, and that was because of him. Peter was the one who had made him feel this way. 

"Uh oh. Can you still talk? Let's fix that."

Then Wade began choking him in earnest. His fingers dug into soft skin, and Peter sucked desperately for air. He gasped little breaths in time with Wade's thrusts. Each time Wade rammed inside him the pleasure grew and grew as Peter became more and more desperate for air. Each little gasp earned him just enough air to prevent him from blacking out, and it intensified every feeling. His prostate felt like an exposed wire, and every time Wade's cock slammed into it sent sparks flying through his body. 

Then he found that he couldn't draw breath at all, and his head felt so light and everything felt so alive. Just when the edges of his vision were fading he cried out, orgasm exploding through him. Wade's hand fell away and he sucked air back into his lungs as he clenched around Wade's cock. Wade followed moment's latter, pumping warm come inside of him again. 

They slumped against each other, panting, but Wade wasn't ready for a break yet, because he was almost fully hard already. 

"You're not tired yet, are you Baby Boy? We're just getting started!" Wade hooked his arms behind Peter's knees and hoisted his ass off the bed, so that he was suspended in the air, held up only by Wade's enhanced strength. Peter yelped and threw his hands up to clasp them around Wade's neck. 

"Wait I'm still-" 

Wade shoved back in and all thoughts of rest were out the window. This angle allowed him to push in so deep. Peter's dick sprung back to life as Wade set the pace, and he could feel Wade's come squeltching out of him between thrusts. He was stuck in Wade's arms, unable to move or help. All he could do was take it. 

It was glorious. 

Wade was chasing his release like there was nothing else in the world, like Peter was the only thing that mattered. That feeling was intoxicating. He wanted Wade to need him. He wanted to make him feel good. He wanted to give him everything. He couldn't move, but that didn't mean he couldn't participate. 

"Do you like it Daddy? Does it feel good?"

"Ohhhhh Baby Boy." Wade growled in a dark tone. "You are the absolute best. Do you want Daddy to describe how good you are?"

"Yes!" He cried on a particularly hard thrust. His dick was trapped, rubbing deliciously between his thighs and chest. He wanted to hear how Wade was feeling. 

"I love watching your perfect little ass swallow my cock. I've been stretching you for a while now, but you're still so fucking tight. And you're being such a good boy for me. I know I should go easier on you, but you're taking everything I dish out. It makes me want to tease you even more, just to see if you'll break."

Every word he said went straight to Peter's cock. He said he was a good boy. He said he was the best. He could already feel a tightness coiling in his belly. 

"Oh baby! If you squeeze my dick like that I won't last long. Do you like it when Daddy talks dirty? Don't worry, there's plenty where that came from. I knew you liked being good, but I didn't know you got off on it. I barely popped your cherry and you're already a little slut for me. All you need is my dick and a little praise and you'll do anything. Remember when you were begging me to finally fuck you earlier? I thought I was gonna bust a nut right there."

Peter could only moan helplessly in response. He was quivering on the edge of release. 

"I didn't know you were such a freaky little slut, but it makes me love you even more. I can't wait to drag all that dark, weird shit out of you and see how good you are. I think you want me to break you. How far are you willing to go to be a good boy?"

Wade was pumping into him harder and harder. Peter was glad that Wade was just as into this as he was. 

"Fuck Petey, I'm already addicted to this. I'm never ever ever letting you go. I need you so bad. You're all mine. Say it!"

"I'm yours!" Peter cried it over and over, with every thrust, until they weren't even words anymore. Everything was melting together; pain pleasure, emotions, all tangled into a moaning mess. They came together, gasping and sweaty. Peter hardly noticed the mess that covered his stomach and legs. He ran his hands over the rough shoulders and head behind him. 

Wade sat Peter gently down on the mattress and flopped beside him. They had barely caught their breath before Peter was on him in a tangle of limbs and teeth and tongues. They kissed and pressed their bodies together, young, smooth skin against old scars. 

Peter wrapped his leg encouragingly around Wade's hip. Wade took the hint, and pressed back inside him. They moaned and writhed together in bliss. 

"God. Don't stop. Don't ever stop. I need you." Peter moaned in moments when he could bear to part his lips from Wade's. The sweet slide of their bodies was almost too much. 

"Wrong Baby Boy. I need you."

Peter was too busy to argue, tracing his well-muscled back with his fingers and trying to eliminate all space between them. Wade massaged his ass cheeks, using them as hand-holds to pull Peter's hips forward into his own. 

Time fell away as they got completely lost in each other. They drug countless orgasms out of each other. Some were languid and passionate while others were frantic and burning. Peter felt as though they might melt together completely, and he couldn't find it in himself to care. The entire Avengers compound could have crumbled around them and they wouldn't even notice. Everything just faded into ecstasy. 

\----- 

Peter must have dozed off, because he woke to a wet slurping sound and delicious warmth. 

"What the- WADE!" 

Peter looked down to see that his love settled between his legs and was licking his dick like an ice cream cone. 

"Aww shit. Sorry to wake you Sweetums. I know you only just nodded off, but I wasn't sure how long you could rest before you got sick again, and I didn't want to risk it."

"That's so thoughtful. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that you think I'm sexy when I'm sleeping." Peter smirked. 

"WHO TOLD YOU!?"

"You did genius."

"Oh. Okay then." Wade chirped happily before going back to his task. 

"This is -mmm- kind of the best way to wake up."

Wade waggled his non-existent eyebrows at him. Peter laid back and closed his eyes, reveling in the sensations, as Wade licked and sucked at him at random. At some point, Wade began to him something that sounded suspiciously like "Whistle a Happy Tune" from The King and I. Peter couldn't help but giggle a bit. 

"What? I can't enjoy pampering my sweetie?"

"No no. It's fine." Peter said, trying to stifle a laugh. "Please, continue."

"If you insist."

Peter smiled fondly. Wade had insisted they watch the animated version of the musical on one of their first dates and quoted through the whole thing. Needless to say, it was terrible and perfect. Peter loved how easy Wade found it to express his affections for people, or movies, or anything really. If he liked something, he didn't hold back. 

Like he was doing now with Peter's dick. One moment he was lightly teasing his balls, and the next he had swallowed him to the base.  
"Oh fuck Wade! Warn a guy would ya?"

"Mmmf hnn hrrn."

"Okay! Okay! Don't stop!"

Wade encouraged him to thrust shallowly up into his mouth, pushing and pulling his hips to set a rhythm. Peter glanced up, and the sight Wade's lips wrapped around his dick was almost enough to make him come right there. Wade had one hand on Peter's hips and one on his own cock, stroking furiously. God, he was so close already. How many times had they come by now? There was no way to know for sure, but the bed and everything around it was sticky, so Peter would have bet it was a lot. 

Peter could feel his orgasm just out of reach, but so close. Then, he heard a sound that made his heart stop. 

Someone was knocking on the door. 

"Ummm guys?" he heard the muffled voice of Bucky say, "Sorry to interrupt but I was sent to check on ya."

Fuck. The reality of the situation came back to Peter. They were having sex. They were having sex in the Avengers Compound. There was an unknown number of fucking superheroes in the building right now. Peter was mortified. It had been so easy to forget what was really happening here. 

Who else had been briefed? How many of his colleagues knew he was losing his virginity right now? 

"Deadpool!" Bucky continued when they failed to answer, "Come on! You promised you would update Steve and Tony at some point. It's been three hours. I suggest you open up a voice-only channel with them or they might come blasting in and nobody wants to see that. They just wanna know that Peter's okay."

Peter and Wade locked eyes for a moment. Wade shrugged, but didn't take his mouth off of Peter's dick. 

"Oh fuck, okay." Peter mumbled. Tony and Steve could NOT come in here right now. Peter would actually die. 

"FRIDAY are you there?"

Bucky called, "She's locked out of your room right now. I can tell her to open a channel from out here."

At least there was some good news. 

"Okay. Do it!" 

"Peter! Are you okay? What's going on?" It was Steve's voice. 

"Jesus Rogers! Don't ask him that!" Tony's voice followed. "We just wanna know that you're okay kiddo."

This was going to be hard. Wade was practically slurping around him, and didn't try to hide the sounds at all. Focus. 

"Guys, I'm okay. Really."

"Oh thank God. Are you sick or hurt?" Steve asked. 

"Nope. I'm uhhh-" Peter had to grind his teeth to keep from moaning. Wade had pushed a finger inside him. "-I'm feeling much better."

"Don't let Deadpool do anything you don't want to." Tony said sternly. "I'm pretty sure we could put you in cryo until-"

"It's fine! We're good!" Wade rubbed small circles over his prostate. He had to end this call. "Great even!"

Peter let out a little gasp when another finger pushed in alongside the first. His hands flew to his mouth, but it was too late to hide. 

There was a long moment of silence, which was broken by Wade moaning loudly around his dick. Peter felt come splatter onto his thighs. 

"JESUS CHRIST! I wondered why Wilson was so quiet!"

"Tony calm down."

"Break his legs if he tries anything!"

"We'll stop bothering you now. Thanks Peter. We were worried, but you're obviously… fine."

The line cut off. 

"Well, time to go erase my memories again." Peter heard Bucky say from the hallway. "Have fun kids!" 

Wade used both thumbs to stretch him wide open and swallowed around him, and Peter came in seconds. Wade gulped it all down, pulled off with a wet popping sound, and licked his lips. He had a self-satisfied grin plastered on his face. 

"You asshole!"

"Didn't seem like you hated it."

"Not the point! You couldn't wait three minutes?"

Wade scooped him up into a big hug. 

"Nope~ You're too sexy to resist. Besides, their reactions were priceless. Your dads are so overbearing."

"They aren't my dads. Plus, Steve is with Bucky and Tony is with Pepper."

"Platonic co-parents then."

"Can we not talk about my bosses right now?"

"Fine, but only because there are more fun things to do right now." Wade said with a wink. 

"Oh yeah?" Peter pulled back and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. "Like what?"

"Well, we haven't really played with any of your presents yet." Wade said, motioning to the Secret Box, which laid forgotten next to the bed. 

"Ooooo. Presents! Should I be worried?"

"Probably. Wanna dig around and see what strikes your fancy?" Wade was bouncing with excitement. He grabbed the box and boosted it up onto the bed so Peter could have a better look. "I got a variety of stuff 'cause I wasn't sure what you'd be into." He lifted the lid and flung it away. "TADAH!"

Inside Peter found a collection of strange objects. Many were colorful and phallic. He knew what those were for, but others had him puzzled. 

"What the hell is this?" Peter pulled out what looked to be a very short, wooden oar. 

"It's a Yaoi Paddle!" Wade said, turning it around so Peter could see the word YAOI engraved into one of the flat sides. "I know they are old-fashioned, but I was feeling a little nostalgic when I put it in."

Peter had no idea what he meant, so he set it to the side and continued digging. 

Peter dug through countless dildos, some of which were very oddly shaped, including one Peter could only assume was supposed to be an alien dick. There were vibrators, and gags, and rope, as well as candles and a whip. He also found a blindfold, fuzzy handcuffs, and a rubber chicken. He held the chicken up with a questioning look and Wade just shrugged. 

At the bottom were the strangest items yet. The first was a replica Darth Vader helmet. The second was a pair of SHIELD issued metahuman cuffs, but the most interesting were the last two. 

Spider-Man and Deadpool suits. 

Peter pulled the Spider-Man one out. It was surprisingly great quality… 

"Hey! Is this my missing suit? I was freaking out! I thought I left it on the subway or something!"

Peter realized as he held it up that something was quite different about this particular suit. There were two holes cut in the crotch and ass regions, which had been professionally hemmed to keep the rest of the suit neat. For sex. Wade had stolen and cut up one of his hero suits for sex. 

"Oh my God Wade! These suits are fucking expensive!"

Wade grinned and held his own defiled costume up. 

"I'll buy you two new ones. #Worthit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if there is anything you're dying to see. I'm open to suggestions <3 Your feedback makes me write faster.


	4. You Can Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me way to long to write this chapter, but it extra long so enjoy! Your lovely comments and kudos kept me going <3

"And why couldn't we do it in our regular suits?" Peter asked, crossing his arms. "We make out in them all the time."

"Yeah but… this is logistically easier and also way hot. It's too late to fix them anyway so what do you say? Wanna try it?" Wade held his costume up hopefully. 

Peter had to admit that having Wade fuck him with the suit and mask on was pretty tempting. They'd had some pretty steamy rooftop encounters already, and of course Peter couldn't help but fantasize. He couldn't count how many times he wished Deadpool would just push him up against a wall and ravish him. He did love the suit. It hugged Wade's built frame in all the right ways, and added a certain sense of danger. 

Peter, however, was a bit miffed at the loss of the suit, so he let Wade babble on, trying to convince him. 

"I didn't know Peter first, I only knew Spidey. For like a whole year! And I was totally in love with you, even back then, and I can't help it! The suit is all I had to go on. Plus, it makes your butt look ~stellar~ and I think you might really like it too! Oh please oh please?"

Peter pretended to mull it over carefully. He couldn't take too long though, because the magic was kicking back in as usual and he wanted some action. 

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to try, since you went to so much trouble."

"Oh yes baby! I'm gonna make it worth it for sure!" Wade cried, and began to pull on his suit. "Don't forget the mask!"

Peter crawled off the bed, and donned the molested supersuit. There was no way to wear it comfortably with his dick and ass out, but he finally got everything adjusted the way he wanted it. He pulled on his mask and turned back to the bed, but what he found was completely unexpected. 

Wade had pulled a French maid costume on over his Deadpool suit, and was laid out on his back, legs wide open, spreading his ass cheeks. 

"Um…. Whatcha doin?" Peter felt a blush rise under his mask. They had been totally naked moments before, but something about this felt so much dirtier. 

"Well Spidey," Wade practically purred. "I was hoping you might like to fuck me this time."

Peter felt a rush of heat through his whole body. He hadn't really thought about being on top before, but there was no way in hell he was passing this up. Wade looked absolutely delicious. 

He crawled between Wade's legs and ran his hands experimentally over his thighs. It was weird not being able to feel his skin, but the combination of the lace of his skirt with the leather of his suit was pretty hot. He lifted the skirt to peek at his exposed cock, which was already standing hard against his belly. Peter was tempted to climb on top and ride him, but that wasn't what they were doing this time. 

"Wade, are you sure? I mean… have you ever?"

Wade ignored his question, and launched into a melodramatic tone. "Oh Spider-Man! I'm so grateful for how you protect the city! Please, do anything you want to me! I want to show my appreciation for all your hard work!"

So they were roleplaying now were they? 

Peter replied in a comically deep voice. "Normally I don't accept thanks, but it is almost my birthday. Besides..." he said running a gloved finger over Wade's cock, "you look so desperate. How could I possibly refuse you assistance?"

"Touch me! Touch me more!" Wade pleaded. "I'm all yours!" He was already so worked up, and Peter had barely touched him. He was definitely going to have to use this suit again. 

"Shh. Shh. It's okay." Peter ran his hands over the suit, then reached up to cup the bust of the maid dress. Wade obviously wanted to be submissive this time, so he was more than happy to play along. Maybe he could give him a taste of his own medicine from earlier. "I'm gonna do whatever I want, and you're going to love every second of it."

Peter squeezed his pecs and Wade threw his head back and moaned. They weren't anything like boobs, Peter was pretty sure, but the muscles were well defined, and Wade pushed up into the touch, so he continued. 

Wade was practically purring. "Oh Spider-Man! Mess me up!"

Peter grinned under his mask and ran his hands down Wade's sides and then up underneath the dress, giving his leather-clad ass a slap. Judging from the sound Wade made it was a good call. 

He pulled back to admire the view a bit. He wished he could see Wade's face, but his oddly expressive mask was fine for now. He could hear how his breath hitched and feel the little tremors that ran through his body when he touched him. The way he lay so open and wanting made Peter want to tease him until he begged for more. Was this how Wade had felt earlier? It was intoxicating. He barely even registered his own arousal. 

"Babe, I want you to hold your legs open. Then don't move."

"Ohyespleaseplease." the words tumbled from Wade's mouth. "I need it so bad."

Wade obediently hooked his arms under his legs and lifted, bringing his ass up and spreading his hole for Peter to see. Peter gave a pleased hum and licked his lips. This was going to be good. 

Peter used his thumb to rub circles on the sliver of cloth between the holes in Wade's suit. Wade gasped, but it clearly wasn't nearly enough stimulation, and Peter continued to tease. He ran his hands around the edge of the cut-outs, careful not to touch any skin. Wade was making the cutest, most desperate noises Peter had ever heard, and his cock was dripping precum onto his dress. His hips jerked up a little and Peter pressed them down into the mattress. 

"Remember what I said about moving?"

Wade whimpered, legs shaking where he held them. "Please Spidey! I can't! I need-"

"But Deadpool..." Peter said, and pushed Wade's hips down with more strength than was necessary, "you said to do whatever I want. You still want me don't you?"

"Ah! Yes! Yes!" 

"Then you have to do what I tell you. I'm not going to ask again."

Wade let out an absolutely filthy moan, and Peter took that as a confirmation. For a moment he was concerned he was being too rough, or taking too long, but Wade hadn't used the safe word, and in fact, he seemed to be loving this, so Peter decided to keep going. 

Peter teased him for a few more minutes, but by then he was having a hard time ignoring his own arousal. They needed to get off soon, or Peter's first time on top was going to be embarrassingly short. Peter glanced over to the Secret Box for inspiration and was not disappointed. 

He grabbed the item that caught his eye, along with some lube. The other tube was already empty. He wasted no time slicking up a gloved finger and running it around Wade's hole, but that was all the warning he gave before plunging it inside up to the second knuckle. 

Wade sucked in a sharp breath and Peter worried he had gone too far, but then Wade spread his ass wider and pushed his hips forward to push the finger in all the way. 

"I use my ass all the time when I'm at home thinking about you. Fuck me up Spider-Man, I want it to hurt. Let me show you what a slut I am." 

If anyone had asked Peter if he was into this sort of thing this morning he would have absolutely said no, but now he thought there might be very little that he wasn't into. It was clear that Wade wanted -needed- to feel used and Peter was starting to learn just how good that could be. Fuck it. Peter was going to give Wade exactly what he wanted. He was all in. 

"Oh I know all about how slutty you are Deadpool. Everybody does." he said, and thrust another finger inside. Wade whimpered in the most tantalizing way. "I hear you flirting with all the other heroes. You think I don't notice? How they say you'll do anything for money? You think I don't wonder who taught you how to beg so sweetly?" He scissored his fingers before mercilessly adding a third. Wade squeezed around him, gasping, his cock soaking his skirt with precum. "But don't worry babe, I'm gonna make sure you know whose cock you belong to." As Peter said that, he pulled his fingers out and replaced them with a thin, bullet-sized vibrator he had picked out of the box earlier and cranked it up all the way. 

Wade began to shake with the effort of holding himself still. "Good boy." Peter murmured as he crawled up Wade's body to sit on his chest, legs on either side of his head. Then finally, finally, Peter took himself in hand and his arousal crashed over him. He was so close already. He stroked himself hard and fast, the best part was yet to come. 

"I'm gonna come on your mask, Deadpool." Peter hoped his voice came out sounding cool, because he was about to lose it. 

"Oh God please Spidey, I want it all over me!"

They came together moments later. Peter watched white ropes of semen paint Deadpool's mask just as he threw his head back and groaned, shaking with his own release. 

Peter was still so excited that his dick didn't even go down all the way. He was still half-hard. That would make this next part easier. He could still hear the unrelenting buzzing of the vibe in Wade's ass. He must be so over-sensitive. 

Peter pulled his mask up over his nose. He sucked in cool air, grateful to be rid of the humid barrier. There was certainly a price for anonymity in their field. 

"Take your mask off. I wanna see the face you make when I wreck your ass." Peter had no idea how he was coming up with these lines, but Wade was loving it from the looks of things. 

Wade dropped his legs and pulled his mask off obediently. He looked absolutely debauched. His eyes were heavy, and he let out little gasps as the vibrator continued, unrelenting, inside of him. Peter felt his heart swell. This was his doing; he had made Wade this desperate. Peter couldn't help but lean in for a filthy kiss 

Peter returned to the spot between Wade's legs, but left them resting on the bed. He didn't want him to get too sore, although, Peter figured he should be quite sore from several hours of non-stop sex and he didn't feel anything. He wasn't even tired or sleepy. Maybe magic wasn't all bad. 

"Now, for the main event." Peter pulled the vibrator out and slicked himself up with a handful of lube. This was it. He took a deep breath to steady himself. He was getting more confident with foreplay, and he'd learned a thing or two about teasing and dirty talk from Wade today, but these were uncharted waters. Would he be good enough for Wade? What if he went too slow or too fast or- 

"Oh Baby Boy." Wade sat up and cupped Peter's face with a gloved hand. "You'll know what to do."

Peter felt his worries melt away as he leaned in for a passionate kiss. Wade seemed to always know what Peter needed. After a few searing kisses Wade bit and tugged at Peter's lip. 

"You gonna make me wait all night Spidey?"

Instead of answering Peter pushed Wade's torso down onto the bed and lifted one of his legs over his own shoulder. This gave him a great angle to guide himself towards Wade's opening. He pushed forward tentatively, but after a few tries he realized it was going to take a little more force to enter him. He took one last, deep breath and pressed harder. 

He could feel Wade opening up around him. It felt similar to a blowjob, in that it was wet and warm, but it was so tight and perfect and Peter felt like he was going to burn up completely. 

"Ohmygod Wade. I… you… oh fuck."

Wade shifted his hips to bring him in further, and before he knew it, he was seated completely, his balls resting against Wade's ass. 

"Fuck… just give me a sec." Peter held himself still. If he wasn't careful this would be over before he even began. He just needed to adjust. 

Peter had squeezed his eyes shut. He really wanted to watch but he was worried he couldn't take it yet. It was so intense. 

He felt Wade's body start to shake under him, and he looked down in alarm to meet Wade's eyes. His expression was that of absolute ecstasy, like all of his fantasies were coming true. Wade grinned at him, totally blissed out. A bit of saliva clung to the corner of his mouth. 

"Oh Spidey." he moaned. "You're so big inside me! Come as much as you want!" 

Peter grit his teeth. There was no way he was letting himself come before Wade. They may be playing rough, but Peter thought of himself as a gentleman. He steeled his mind and began to move. 

The sensations were much different from when their roles were reversed, but that same sense of intimacy was still present. They were connected in a way that was so exposing. It was difficult to hide what they were feeling when they were feeling so much. 

Peter was spurred on equally by the insane pleasure and Wade's encouragement. As Peter snapped his hips faster and harder Wade was meeting him thrust for thrust. He clutched Wade's hips hard enough to bruise, but Wade begged for more. 

Wade cried "Yes! Harder! Fuck me Spider-Man!" and if that was too corny, it was totally lost on Peter. He was too busy drawing those delicious sounds from his lover. He could feel Wade's pleasure building in the way his voice pitched up, and how his ass squeezed around Peter so perfectly. 

Wade's mouth hung open as he moaned and suddenly Peter found himself wanting to fill that too. To fill Wade up completely. He leaned forward to run two fingers teasingly over Wade's lips. This, incidentally, caused Peter to press into Wade even deeper and they moaned in unison. Wade didn't hesitate to suck the fingers into his mouth, laving at the material of his suit. He could feel Wade teetering on the edge so he pushed his fingers further down his throat. 

"Come for me Deadpool."

Wade clenched almost painfully around him as he did just that. Cum shot into the maid dress and Peter's suit, and Wade slumped bonelessly into the mattress. 

Peter almost pulled out, but he heard Wade chanting "Don't stop. Don't stop."

So Peter continued to fuck into Wade's amazing heat. Post climax he had become so soft and open, and Peter felt no resistance, sliding in and out at a maddening tempo. The thing that finally pushed him over was Wade reaching up to grab both of his ass cheeks and pull him in for a few dangerously rough thrusts. 

By the time Peter came back to himself he had his face pressed into that perfect spot on Wade's collar bone. His mask had come off at some point, not that he cared. They were both a sticky mess, but Peter couldn't pry himself away just yet. They had done hardly any cuddling since this whole thing started, and Peter just wanted to melt into the warmth of his lover. 

His lover. They were lovers now. 

Peter smiled and snuggled closer. They laid together for a few blissful minutes before Wade began to shift under him. He reached to grab his watch, which was Spongebob today, which he had carefully set aside earlier. 

"Damn. Our time should have already been up. Doctor Weirdo must be running late."

"Doctor Strange."

"Same thing. Anyway…. How was it? Are you a macho top forever?" 

Peter snickered at the idea. 

"It was… I mean… wow. But I think I prefer -you know- bottoming. Not that it's off the table!" Peter stammered through his sentences. 

"It's okay Baby Boy. Nothing wrong with being a big 'ol sub. You can top on birthdays and Hanukkah! Or whenever you feel like honestly. You are incredible and I'll take it any way I can get it." 

They cuddled for a few more minutes before Peter found the courage to speak up. 

"So… do you want to have that talk now?"

Wade sighed deeply and hugged Peter tightly to him. 

"I don't want to ruin the moment. It's not going to be pretty."

"I know Wade, but I've already had what is probably the best first-time anyone has ever had. We can't ruin that, I promise. I can tell you're mad and it's killing me. I want to give you a chance to tell me about it before I beg forgiveness."

Wade had done a very good job of hiding how upset he was. If he let his brain wander he could put off a topic he wanted to avoid with ease, but his feelings would only get stronger the longer he waited. Peter had seen him do it before. It's how he was learning to stop killing people. He would resist the urge to kill a villain, but then beat the hell out of the next few goons he came across, just to let steam off. The sooner they talked, the better.

"How did you get to be so smart Petey?" Wade said, fondly stroking Peter's hair. He sat them both up so they were sitting across from each other. Eye contact. Oh boy. 

"I'm obviously not that smart. I made some pretty big mistakes today." 

Wade shifted his hands nervously before they settled on his knees. 

"Can you just let me get everything off my chest first? Believe me Baby, if I could ignore this I would."

Peter resisted the urge to reply, instead giving Wade a weak smile. 

"Okay. Here we go. This was so much easier when I could just shoot things instead of talking about it."

Peter waited patiently while he gathered his thoughts. Wade had told him once that it was very similar to herding cats. 

"I guess I'm just mad. And also confused. I mean, I had to hear about this from the Winter Soldier. Imagine getting a call from me, and it's another hero in the phone telling you I'm dying. I know that's not gonna happen because healing and stuff, but you can imagine right? Did you know that your heart stopped before I got here?"

Peter felt tears brimming in his eyes. He tried in vain to suck them back in. He hadn't known how bad it really was. He didn't answer and waited for Wade to continue. 

"And I keep thinking about what Winter Soldier said on the phone. How you were asking for me, but you were already really sick by then. They said it had been almost an hour, and that they had explained the situation to you so I'm left with a big question. Why didn't you call me right away?" 

Wade's voice was deep and he kept his tone careful. Peter knew how scary it was that Wade was being so serious. 

"And I know on some level, you wanted to wait until your birthday like we agreed but fuck Peter! You were sick! And there is nothing more important to me in the entire multiverse than your safety." 

Uh-oh. He used Peter's real name. 

"You were embarrassed right? You didn't want the Avengers to know we're together. I get it, I'm not exactly a hero, but it still hurts. I mean, you wouldn't let them call me until you were actually dying."

Peter felt hot tears roll down his cheeks. 

"I'm so sorry Wade. It's my fault." He couldn't stand the pained look on his face anymore. "I should have called you. I didn't feel that bad at first, and Thor said some Asgardians lasted like 12 hours. I thought I had time. I was really, really wrong and stupid. I'm really grateful to Bucky and Nat. They saved me. And you of course."

"You can't die on me Peter. We've talked about this." Now Wade was crying. "And especially not for something so stupid."

Wade was right. They had talked about Peter dying a lot. After all, there was no way he was going to out-live Wade. His healing factor was too strong. Wade couldn't even kill himself if he tried, which was something Peter was grateful for. Wade had tried to talk Peter into retiring, but had given up pretty quickly. Peter couldn't put his safety before others. It just wasn't who he was. 

"I blame you some, but I blame the Avengers more. They are supposed to take care of you!"

"I told them not to do anything. Wade, it's my fault."

"They should have done something! They should have… fuck! If they had gotten someone else to help you, you wouldn't have almost died, but I would've killed anyone who touched you. I would kill anyone who touched you Peter."

"Even if they were saving my life?" and said softly. 

"Fuck! I don't know! This hurts so much! You can't ever do this to me again Peter. I can't lose you." His shoulders shook as he tried to steady his breathing. 

Peter knew this was bad. He knew that this kind of instability and obsession was a dangerous combination. He also saw pain, and helplessness, and love. Wade wanted to be good, he wanted to be understood, and Peter saw him making better choices every day. He was a hero, whether or not he could see it, but he still needed Peter's help. Maybe Peter was being too reckless. Citizens needed him, but so did Wade. 

"You're right. I'm not careful enough. Sometimes I feel so strong, I forget that I'm still just a guy." Peter covered Wade's hands with his own. "Let me try to make it up to you okay? Will you let me?"

"What am I gonna do? Break up with you? We both know that's never going to happen. I'm stuck in your web, pun intended."

"I'm still going to try to do better. I won't go on any missions or patrols until you clear me for duty, and I'm going to add you as my emergency contact. That way you never have to wait again, and they can't deny you access if something happens." 

Peter lifted Wade's chin up so their eyes could meet. Wade blinked away tears, but the light was back in his eyes. 

"I have one more demand." Wade pouted, which was a strange contrast to his scarred face. 

"Name your price."

"You have to bring me to the big fancy superhero holiday party."

"Done." Peter said without hesitation. The holiday party Tony threw every year was probably the largest gathering of heroes in the world, and Wade wanted to annoy them all. At least it wouldn't be boring. 

"Good. I'm warning you now though, I'm gonna wear a Mrs. Claus getup."

Peter rolled his eyes. Of course Wade would. 

He pulled Wade in for a hug and as their bodies met they both groaned. Damn magic! Already? They still had some time to kill apparently, not that Peter would complain. 

"Hey Wade~" Peter said, deciding to try something bold, "I did something bad right? Shouldn't you punish me?"

"Ooooh, I like where this is going. Did you have a suggestion Naughty Boy?" Wade pulled Peter into his lap and pressed kisses along his jaw. 

"Maybe you should spank me, Daddy." Peter had been thinking about it ever since Wade slapped him earlier. He had heard of people being spanked during bdsm play. That was what they were working towards wasn't it? Peter's mind was suddenly filled with fantasies of leather harnesses and restraints. His pain tolerance was pretty high, and it seemed exciting. 

Peter was startled from his thoughts when Wade dumped him unceremoniously from his lap and onto the bed. 

"Take your suit off."

They both pulled at their own clothing until they were once again naked. Peter blushed when he realized Wade was already completely hard. He was gazing at him so intently, and it made Peter a little self-conscious. 

After what felt like an eternity of frozen eye-contact, Wade crossed his legs and beckoned Peter over. He settled him so that Peter was bent over his lap with his crotch resting against Wade's thigh. He could press into it if he wanted to, but instincts told Peter that was the wrong move, so he stayed very still. Wade's uncharacteristic silence made him nervous. 

Wade rubbed a palm over Peter's ass cheek, which made him shiver. 

"Now Baby, do you remember your safe word?"

Peter nodded, afraid to speak. 

"Good. Now, even though this is your first time I know you can take a hit, so I'm not going easy on you. You've been naughty, but I know you'll be good for me and take them all right?"

"Yes Daddy." He swallowed nervously. 

"There's my good boy! We are gonna do two practice shots first, and then you get ten lashes. Oh and Baby Boy, don't you dare fucking come before I tell you. You got all that?" Wade dug his fingers into soft flesh 

"Yes Daddy."

Why was Wade warning him about coming? Did it really feel that good? Peter was about to find out. 

"I'm gonna count the first two, and you have to count the rest. Ready?"

Before Peter could respond a hand came crashing down on his left cheek. Peter let out a surprised cry as the burn of it spread across his rear. It was so fast it startled him, but it didn't hurt that much. He could certainly take more of this. 

"One."

His Spidey-sense had grown accustomed to Wade and he didn't set it off anymore, which meant it was even more shocking when the second slap hit right over-top the first. Peter nearly jerked out of Wade's grip on instinct alone. 

"Two. Try to stay still Baby Boy."

Peter settled himself back down and tried to remember to breathe. This was his idea. He had to see this through. He pressed a tiny kiss to Wade's knee and tried to relax his body. 

"Don't forget to count~" Wade sang, and then the first real blow came. The air in Peter's lungs escaped in a whoosh as Wade's hand made contact with his right cheek. The first two had really been just for practice. It was harder than the previous ones combined. 

"One." 

The next one came down just below the first, on the back of his thigh. Peter hadn't expected that at all and he jerked and moaned in Wade's lap. 

"Two."

Peter was starting to feel a full ache in his lower body. It wasn't unlike the few times he had fallen from very high. The next one hit him so hard that his erection ground into Wade's thigh. The mix of pleasure and pain tore a gasp from him. It was strange how well they went together. 

"Three."

Wade had perfect control, increasing the power of each slap and precisely aiming one on top of the other. Each time he struck Peter had no idea when or where it was coming. All he could do was feel the growing heat in his body, and try to keep count. 

"Four."

When the next one came Peter choked down a pained cry. He felt tears spring to his eyes unbidden. 

"F-five." 

"Don't hold it in Baby Boy. I want to hear you cry." 

Wade's voice was harsh. He was feeling it for sure. Peter realized he was rubbing himself shamelessly on Wade's leg. That seemed to do it for him too. 

When the next one came Peter let go and let himself cry out. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He could feel the ache in his bones, and the pain was spreading throughout his whole body. 

"Fuck."

"That's not a number." Wade's voice sounded dangerous. 

"S-sorry Daddy. Six." Peter tried to cover up his mistake. 

"Good boy."

Peter sobbed when the next one hit. Wade was getting serious now. The whole bed creaked with the force of it. He tried to suck in air to count. 

"Seven."

He was crying uncontrollably when the next one came. Peter was unbelievably hard, his dick sliding through its own precum against Wade. 

Peter whined a pitiful "Eight."

"Good job Baby Boy! We're almost there. You've taken these so well. You ready for some super strength?"

"Oh God." Peter begged between sobs. "Wade no. Please no. I don't think I can take it. I can't-"

"You can Petey. I know you can. You're so good for me. You can take it." Wade sounded so proud. "Don't give up. I've got you."

Peter hesitated. 

"What do you say if you want to stop?"

Wade didn't sound disappointed, and he stayed perfectly still while Peter shivered in his lap. He could stop. He was so hard now, but he hurt too. It was all so intense. 

But in the end, Peter was curious. He wanted to know what was waiting at the finish line. 

"I want to keep going, Daddy."

"Ohhhhh yes. You can do it Baby Boy. Here we go. 

Peter's whole body was on fire. He saw stars as Wade's palm hit his ass. Peter had only ever been hit this hard a few times in his career. His Spidey-sense usually saved him, but he was allowing Wade to do this. Something about giving Wade control made the sting feel so wonderful. 

"Nine." Peter whimpered. God, what was the next one going to be like? 

"I love you so much." Wade said, and then Peter's punishment was completed with a blow that cracked through his whole body. Peter felt the slightest prickle of danger, but it was too late. The legs of the bed must have snapped, because they suddenly tumbled off the mattress and onto the floor in a heap of limbs. 

Peter sobbed in Wade's arms while he pressed kisses over his face. He murmured sweet nothings as he ran hands through Peter's hair and pressed their bodies together. 

"Oh Baby Boy, you're so good for me. I'm so proud. You did it. So good Baby. Shhh. I've got you."

A hand brought their erections together, and Peter wasn't sure if he could bear it. He hurt so much, but Wade was warm and wonderful, and soon they were clinging to each other. 

"You can come now."

That was all Peter needed. They came together, moans muffled by lips and tongues. They slid to to lay on the floor, still wrapped in each other. 

"Are you quite done?"

They both jumped at the sound of an intruder. Doctor Strange was hovering in the room, or rather, some astral form was. Peter wasn't sure how it worked exactly. The ghost-like figure held his hand to cover his eyes. 

"What the fuck dude? We're a little busy!" Wade pulled Peter's body against his own as if to shield his nudity. 

"I'm aware. I could hear you from the hallway. Anyway, that's not really my business. I have returned with the artifact we needed to end the spell. I'm going to send my body in now, so I suggest you cover up. I really don't have any more time to waste on this."

"Awwwww mom! Five more minutes!" Wade whined. 

"Wade, shut it. Let the nice wizard do his thing. I want a shower and a 12 hour nap."

"Petey! Don't tell me you're done already? Talk about teenagers and their low stamina!"

That comment earned Wade a punch in the arm. 

"Will you help me up? I can't seem to find the button that makes my leg work."

Wade pulled Peter onto to mattress, which was now resting on the floor. The legs had snapped right under it. He wrapped Peter up in an almost-clean sheet and threw on his pants, sans torn boxers. 

Steven Strange waltzed in as if nothing was happening. A magic circle was drawn, chants were chanted, and some sort of fertility statue was waved around. They both glowed green for a moment, and then they were hit with a wave of exhaustion. All their previous activities suddenly caught up with them. 

"Ohhh man!" Wade said, flopping back to the mattress. "My ass fucking hurts."

"YOUR ass! What about MY ASS!!??"

"Oh God." he heard Tony's voice from the hallway. "Rogers, I need you to crush my skull so I don't have to process that."

Fuck. Tony and Steve. Playtime was officially over. 

"Oh they are going to hate this!" Wade said with a cat-like grin. 

"Wade please behave."

"Never. Eek! Don't come in! We're naked!!!"

Steve and Tony entered the room as Wade applied some heart-shaped nipple pasties to himself. 

"Okay. Now I'm decent."

"You're never decent." Peter groaned. 

"Look, I know that male-presenting nipples are still considered appropriate, but we have to have some solidarity with our Tumblr sisters! It's all or nothing says I."

"What the fuck is he talking about Peter." Tony was trying very hard not to look around the destroyed room. 

"Don't worry about it. It's kind of an Internet thing. I think."

"How are you feeling Pete?" Steve asked. Oh no. He was making the face. The I-want-to-help-but-don't-know-how face. 

"Really tired. And thirsty. And hungry."

"Ohmygod yes, I'm starving! Tacos?"

"Tacos!"

"FRIDAY!" Tony called "Order 30 tacos from that place Peter likes."

"Better make it 60." Steve chimed in. "Healing factor."

They all nodded. 

"I have to be on my way now." Doctor Strange said, casually opening a portal. "I hear congratulations are in order Spider-Man."

"Oh… um… I… jeez."

"I'll keep the artifact handy in case something like this happens again."

Everyone murmured agreement except for Wade, who said, "Oh perfect, 'cause my birthday is coming up soon and-" he cut off when Peter jabbed his elbow into his ribs. 

"Thanks Steven. You really saved us."

With a shrug, he was gone, and the portal closed. 

"Soooo… who wants to never talk about this again?" Peter said hopefully. 

"As much as I wish that were the case, we have to do a debrief and medical work-up. Gotta follow procedure." Steve countered. 

"What procedure? We don't have procedures for this shit!" Tony had his head in his hands. 

"We do what we can for now, and we will have to write some up later."

"Oh goodie. That's gonna be fun. Break Glass if Hero is Forced to Have Underage Sex." Tony pulled at his hair. 

"We will totally do the debrief and any medical tests you guys want, but first, I need a shower and some clothes. Because I kinda ripped mine up earlier."

"Good idea Petey Pie! I'm all covered in your web fluid. *wink *wink." 

"Did you just say 'wink wink' out loud?"

"You know what?" Tony threw his hands up in defeat, "Sure. Hit the showers! But no funny business, I have eyes everywhere. It's not life or death anymore, so as far as I'm concerned any more 'relations' are illegal."

"Meet us in the kitchen in 15. I'm sure we'll have the tacos by then. FRIDAY always tips well." Steve drug Tony along with him towards the hallway. 

Wade carried Peter through the locker room area into the showers, still wrapped in a bed sheet. It seemed Wade had already completely recovered from his fatigue and soreness, which was very rude of him. 

He set Peter down in a shower stall and started the water. When it was warm enough, Wade used a wet towel to bathe him so he wouldn't have to move. Peter was too tired to argue, and he had to admit the quiet way Wade was taking care of him was very romantic. 

Once Wade had scrubbed every inch of him he quickly rinsed himself off and toweled them both dry. Wade scooped him back up in his arms, bridal-style and they stood looking in a full length mirror for a moment. 

Peter looked completely wrung out. He had bags under his eyes, bruises on his hips, and hickeys every few inches. How were there so many hickeys? But when he looked up, he met Wade's eyes in the reflection and smiled. They were lovers. Underneath all the tired and sore feelings, he felt content. 

"How did an ugly-ass guy like me end up with a sweet little thing like you?" Wade asked the mirror. 

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a smart mouth and a big dick."

Wade snorted and clutched him tighter. 

"Well, let's go face the music before the super dads come enforce the 'room for jesus' rule."

\----- 

Steve and Tony were kind enough to let Peter and Wade inhale a few tacos before a FRIDAY drone came to give them full body scans. Tony's scowl deepened as he scanned the read-outs on his tablet. Peter felt himself turning an unflattering shade of scarlet. 

"Peter, I know you didn't get these bruises from your fall earlier."

"I don't really see how that's any of your business, Pops." Wade said between bits of taco. 

"It's my business when someone on the team gets hurt. No matter what happened."

Steve cut in, almost as red as Peter felt. "Everything else checks out, you just need some food and rest. How are you feeling? Be honest Pete."

"I'm fine, really, just pretty tired. And before you ask, we were totally clear headed. I didn't do anything I wasn't already planning on doing, so don't start in on Wade."

"You were feeling more than fine earlier~" Wade added with a wink. 

"Okay." Steve answered, ignoring Wade. "We trust you, you know that right?"

"Do we?" Tony scoffed. "Because the Spider-Man I know wouldn't make rash decisions like dating a known killer and hiding it from us. You didn't tell anybody because you knew that whatever this is, it's a bad idea."

"I didn't tell you because I knew you would react like this! You all do! None of you will even give Wade a chance. He is working to make a difference and you can't even see it because you're too busy looking down from your high tower! Literally!" Peter crushed a taco in his fist and let it fall to the floor. "I bet you never said anything like this about Bucky!"

The room was suddenly very quiet. 

"Actually," Steve said, in a small voice, "he did. I knew Buck better than anyone, but I eventually came to see that Tony had every right to question it. Things can get… complicated in our line of work. Sometimes we need a friend to have our back, and make sure we are still doing the right thing. But-" he gave Tony a sharp look, "-in the end, all we can do is ask you to be careful. We're a team. We're a family. If you're happy, we're happy for you."

Tony heaved a huge sigh and set down the tablet. "Trust doesn't come easy for me, but I trust you, kid. You've got good instincts. If you say he's turning it around, I'll just have to see for myself. I promise I'll actually look this time."

"Thank you. You won't be disappointed, right Wade?"

All eyes were on Wade now, who had been suspiciously quiet this whole time. 

"What? Me? Sorry! I got distracted. You're really hot when you're coming to my rescue. I was trying to think of gross stuff so I wouldn't pop a boner in front of the 'rents. Didn't work though. You just too sexy."

"Wade!" Peter hissed, "I know you're loving embarrassing me but can you please say something reassuring here?"

"Oh ummmmmm… reassuring... " Wade slurped down another taco. "Oh, I know! I would literally find a way to kill myself before I ever let something bad happen to Peter."

"I guess that helps." Steve said cautiously. 

"Good." Tony said, "Because of you don't, I will."

"Okaaaaay everybody! Not that this isn't super fun, because it totally is, but I'm so tired. Can we wrap this up? You guys can hiss at each other some other time." Peter just wanted to finish his tacos and sleep for a week. 

Steve and Tony began to debrief them in earnest after that. They documented his answers in case a similar situation where ever to arise. Did he remember everything? Did he still have his powers? Were they both affected? The usual questions for an unusual situation. 

Just when it seemed like they were finally wrapping up, Wade slammed his hands down on the table and stood up abruptly. 

"Oh my God! This is awful!"

"Wade what are you-"

He turned to Peter with a look of horror. 

"What if we Flowers for Algernon-ed ourselves??!!"

"What the fuck?"

"What if we have had such a transcendent sexual experience that no sex will ever seem good again? What if we've ruined sex forever?!"

Everyone stared in shock. 

With a sudden burst of courage, Peter smiled and leaned in to whisper to him. 

"Why don't I stay at your place tonight and tomorrow we can test your theory?"

"How are we gonna do tha- ohhhhhh. I like this plan!"

"Okay you two." Steve said, clearly defeated, "I think that's enough questions. Go and get some rest..."

"By which he means actual sleeping! "

"... And we'll check back in a few days. You're off patrol for a week."

"At LEAST a week." Wade added sternly. "No more almost dying for dumb reasons."

"Okay! Okay!" Peter gulped down the last taco and grabbed his backpack. He hoped they could sneak out of the compound unnoticed but they ran into one more person on the way out. 

"Don't let them get to you." Bucky was leaning in the hallway against a wall. "They came around to me, and I didn't even want them to."

"I'll keep that in mind Leftie. But just so you know, we are totally gonna fight sometime." 

They stood sizing each other up for a moment before Bucky finally said, "I'm looking forward to it."

\----- 

They walked arm in arm down the street towards Wade's dingy apartment. The smell of thai food wafted from the bag at Peter's side. The tacos had helped, but Peter was going to be hungry again soon. Peter had crashed at Wade's place before, but they'd never slept in the same bed. It seemed silly that he would be this nervous considering what they'd been doing barely an hour before. 

Wade could tell something was up because he turned around and blocked the door before they went inside. 

"You don't have to stay, and we don't have to do anything. We can wait till your birthday. I'll wait forever if you want. I'll take anything you want to give, so you set the pace Baby Boy."

Peter lifted up on his toes to place a sweet kiss on his lips. 

"I really appreciate that, but I told you already. You don't have to be so careful with me. Now come on, the food's getting cold."

Wade followed him inside making cooing noises after him. 

"Oh Petey Pie! You're so perfect!" He scooped him off of his feet and carried him to the couch. "Wanna have a quickie?"

"I'm going to kill you."

"You can try~"

The food ended up cold and forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for our main story ~unless~ my dear readers want a few extra scenes that have been bouncing around in my brain. Might be an epilogue, might be a side fic. Haven't decided yet.... stay tuned!


	5. I Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's been a while. In the six or so months since my last chapter I have lost my job, gotten married, moved my husband and two cats halfway across the US to quarantine with my family, and thrown myself into the BLM movement.
> 
> All that being said, please enjoy the last part of this story. I'm seriously staggered by the amount of support this stupid idea of a fic has received. I hope this wraps things up nicely. It's a bit of departure from the style of the first 4 chapters. As a little guide for the voices:  
(Pessimistic Voice)  
{Optimistic Voice}  
[Wade]

2 Years Ago 

The moment Deadpool met Spider-Man, he knew he was in love. 

It all started with a YouTube video, which was being passed around at Sister Margaret's. All the guys were making a fuss, and Wade was usually up for a good cat video, so he popped over to see what was happening. 

The video was grainy, obviously taken on a phone. The camera shifted to show a blurry form punch a guy and send him flying into a parked car. The red and blue figure pinned him down with something -maybe a net- and then climbed up the side of a building just as cops arrived on-scene. The title of the video read: New hero in New York? SPIDER-MAN!!!

(Oh boy. Another suit.)  
{He looks really tough! We should fight him!}  
[Will you guys be quiet? I'm thinking here!]

A new kid on the block. Wade cracked his knuckles. Maybe he should roll out the welcome wagon. If the Avengers or X-Men didn't get to him first, he might just have a new friend. 

\----- 

Wade started spending a lot of time in Queens, and it eventually paid off. 

It was almost 3am and he was about to pack it in for the night, when he rounded the corner and spotted a brawl. Judging by the busted storefront these guys were would-be robbers. It was going to be a bad night for them. Wade was about to grab his katanas and charge in, when he spotted him. 

The most perfect person he had ever seen. 

He was in a new suit. It looked more expensive than the pictures online, but he knew it was him. A sculpted red and blue blur, flipping over thugs with ease, dealing out powerful punches and kicks, handling six guys like it was nothing. 

(HaHa. Handling six guys.)  
{Ew. Stop. We love him.}  
(So? He can get it.)  
[Shhh. I'm having a moment.]

But they were right. He did love him. He didn't know how, but it was true. He would give anything to get closer. 

He watched Spider-Man take down the rest of the guys with ease in a few seconds, and begin to tie them up with that white stuff. Web? Wade picked his jaw up off the sidewalk and crossed the street. 

As Wade drew closer, some movement caught his eye. One of the thieves was crouched behind a trash can, in the obvious hope of slipping away. The universe was really shining down on Deadpool today. He was on the guy before he knew what was happening, and a moment later the unconscious thug was being dragged behind him by his hoodie. 

"You missed a spot~" he called, and Spider-Man spun to face him. "Don't worry, I got it."

Oh. He was perfect up-close too. Those big white eyes… 

(Kinda like our mask!)

And toned build… 

{He's like a sexy, professional rock climber.}

And oh God. He was talking to him. 

(Listen you idiot!)

"... Because I haven't seen you before. Are you an Avenger? I'm Spider-Man by the way."

So that's where he got the suit upgrade. Must be Stark's doing. 

"Nah, I'm not with those squares. You could say I'm independent. Not really the action figure type. Just trying to help where I can."

(Spidey and Deadpool sittin' in a tree)  
{K-I-S-S-I-N-G}

"Oh. That's cool. I haven't really decided if I'm joining yet."

They were interrupted by the sound of sirens approaching. 

"Hey Spidey, we should split yeah?"

"Oh yeah. Do you… wanna come with?"

{Always and forever.}  
(Ugh. Sappy much?)

"Sure?" It came out like a question. Suddenly Spidey stepped up into Wade's personal space. 

"Sorry. Mind if I…" he wrapped one arm around Wade's waist and pulled him in. He shot a white rope from the other hand and hoisted them both through the air, onto the rooftop of a nearby building. They must have been 8 or 9 stories up. 

Wade's head was spinning, and Spidey was still so close. 

"Oh Spidey. You should warn a guy before you do that." He said with a wink. 

"Oh jeez, I'm so sorry Mister… ah sorry. I didn't catch your name."

Spidey had pulled away to a safe distance and Wade missed the touch already. 

{He's so cute and polite! He must be kinda young.}  
(Oh boy. This one's too good for us.)

"Sir?"

Shit. "Deadpool. It's Deadpool. Ever heard of me?"

"Well, no. But I'm pretty new to the hero game!"

(You hear that? He thinks we're a hero.)  
{We could be if we wanted to! Logan always says so.}  
(Logan's an asshole.)  
{Touché}

"Well, newkid, if you ever wanna sit at the cool kids' table or compare notes, I'll be around. We… heroes… gotta stick together. Oh and FYI, if you hear any gossip about me around the playground it's all lies."

(That's gonna bite us in the ass later.)

"Oh man, that would be awesome. Thanks Deadpool!" Suddenly his watch beeped. "Oh shit! It's already this late? I'm so sorry, but I've really gotta go. Maybe you can give me some tips next time?"

Wade felt his heart sink. He had to leave already? When could he see him again? He wanted to hear his voice, and learn what kind of food he liked to eat after a long patrol. He wanted to know what made such a happy-seeming guy put the suit on. He'd just have to wait. 

"Sure thing Spidey. Next time." Spidey shot off another rope, and Wade called out. "Watch your back out there! Not everybody's as nice as me!"

"Can do!" he could tell that Spidey was grinning under the mask. 

Wade watched his love swing away from the rooftop. He stayed there for long hours, until the sun came up over the skyscrapers, debating with himself. He had to make a plan. Everything was different now. 

(Nothing is different. So we're in love. It's happened before.)  
{Not like this! This is some true love bullshit right here.}  
(Well it doesn't matter, because the minute he asks the Avengers about us it's over.)  
{Yeah! We aren't a hero! Why would you tell him that?}  
[I don't know. I mean, I'm not totally wrong. We're not a badguy!]  
(Yeah, but we're not exactly a goodguy either. Remember Weapon X? Remember how we get paid?)  
{That's a good point. If we become a hero we won't have taco money. We need taco money.}  
(We NEED taco money.)  
[We'll just have to figure something out, because if we don't do better, he'll never talk to us again.]  
…   
(Fine.)  
{Fine.}  
[Fine.]

\-----

1 Year Ago 

The moment Deadpool kissed Spider-Man, he knew he was in love. 

Wade would never admit that he had let the chase with the wannabe villain go on longer so that they would end up in Queens. It was just a happy accident that Spider-Man had stepped in. It was his terf after all. 

They sat together on a rooftop eating ice-cream as they watched the police pull the angry villain down from the lamp post he was webbed to. The dude didn't even have powers. From the way he was dressed he thought he was some sort of ninja. 

(Yeah right. We've fought ninjas before. That guy is no ninja.)  
{Is the plural of ninja ninjas or ninja?}  
(Who gives a fuck?)

They both had their masks pulled up over their noses so they could eat their choco tacos. It had become a tradition that they would hang out after team-ups, of which there had been many. Spidey had come a long way from the over-polite kid Wade met. He was an Avenger now, and he'd saved the world more than a few times. 

Wade couldn't help but sneak peaks at Spidey while he ate. A drip of ice-cream slid down his chin, and his tongue darted out to catch it. Wade cursed the cruelty of this universe. He was too sexy. It wasn't fair. 

"Well, now that all the excitement is over with, I might have had an ulterior motive for swinging by today."

Spidey said "What? You mean you didn't have trouble catching that super powerful villain? If I didn't know better I'd think you were stalking me."

While he was being sarcastic, Spidey had no idea how close to the truth he really was. Deadpool had spent a significant amount of time since their first meeting watching his back. The Avengers may have trained him and geared him up, but Wade was the one out on the streets making sure nobody took him out. He kept Spidey's name off hit-lists and took out some bigger threats before they made it to Queens. He knew he had to let him handle things on his own one day, but that day could wait a little longer right? Friends were supposed to help each other out after all. 

{Spidey really is our friend huh? We hang out, and get takeout, and talk. That's not just hero stuff.}  
(Well, we don't want to be FRIENDS with him. We want to do all kinds of nasty bad-guy things to him too.)  
{Well yeah, but also cuddling.}  
(Fuck. He wants us to say something.)

"Sorry dude. What were you saying?"

"You don't have to apologize every time you space out Deadpool. I get it." Spidey said, and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

{He's a saint!}

"Okay. Well anyway, it's a bit of a special day today, so I wanted to come see you and that precious smile of yours."

He could see the lightest blush creep up on his face where his mask was pulled up. Spidey never really commented when Deadpool flirted with him. He just took it in stride, or sometimes flirted back. At least, Wade hoped it was flirting. Spidey was a master of witty banter, so it was anyone's guess really. 

"It's our one-year friendiversary."

"Oh wow. Has it really only been a year? I guess time feels funny when you're saving the world once a month. Dang. A whole year. I wish I'd remembered, I would have gotten you something."

"Oh darling! Your company is present enough!"

Spidey turned his body to face Wade's and grasped his hands. 

(OMG) {OMG} [OMG]

"No Deadpool. I'm serious. I owe you so much. I don't know what kind of hero I would be without you. You're always there to help me out, and pick me up. It means a lot to me."

Surely this was how Wade was going to finally die. There was no way his head wasn't about to explode violently off of his body any moment now. But it didn't. 

"You wanna talk about heroes, Baby Boy? I wouldn't be anything without you. You know I'm no saint, but when I see what you do? It makes me want to try. You're so effortlessly good and it's fucking incredible. You're my jedi master, teaching me about balance and shit."

They were still holding hands. Wade had the urge to take off his mask, so he could watch Spidey's reactions more closely, but he left it on. It wasn't very hard to find out that Wade Wilson was Deadpool. In fact, he was pretty sure Spidey knew his identity, but Spidey was careful about his alter ego, so Wade didn't want to pressure him. 

"I can't take credit for your hard work, DP." Spidey said. "All this progress you've made is your own doing. I can be super proud of you though. And I am. I really am proud."

"I'm proud of YOU." Were they getting closer to each other? "I trained in Black Ops and Weapon X and I have trouble keeping up with you sometimes. And don't try to tell me that's just your powers because that's bullshit." They were totally getting closer. 

"But it is mostly my powers."

"Is not"

"Is too."

"Is not~"

"Shut up."

"Why don't you make me?"

They were almost nose to nose now. Any second, Spidey would pull away. Any second… 

Wade searched the masked face for any kind of sign. If only he could see what sort of expression he was making! He was seconds from flinging himself off the building in sheer panic when Spidey decided to close the gap. 

Spidey pressed their lips together, so sweet and unsure. It was really just a soft peck, but it was easily the most romantic experience of Wade's life. 

(He kissed US?)  
{He KISSED us!}

They pulled back and stared at each other for a moment before the events seemed to catch up with Spidey. 

"Oh my God. It just seemed like… and I… I'm so sorry! That was totally inappropriate."

"Baby Boy," Wade said, giving his hands a reassuring squeeze. "Inappropriate is my favorite."

"Really? So you like me?"

"Spider-Man, I like like you."

"Oh jeez." he retracted his hands so he could cover his face in embarrassment. "How was I supposed to know? I mean, you flirt with everybody."

"Yeah. I'm kind of an asshole." 

"I can't believe this!" he wailed. 

Instead of saying anything, Wade decided to just go with it. He reached up to cup the sides of Spidey's face, and gently pulled him back in for another kiss. 

Wade took the lead on this one. He pressed their lips together fervently, and he felt Spidey practically melt into the touch. He could tell he had little-to-no experience, but that excited Wade even more. He was giving him something special, a side he didn't let others see. Wade could barely contain his racing heart. When he flicked his tongue along Spidey's lips to ask for entrance, Spidey let out the smallest little gasp of pleasure and Wade lost it. 

He slid one hand behind his head, and put the other on the small of his back so he could bring them together. He wanted to be closer. So much closer. 

Their tongues slid together, and Spidey was so fucking pliant. He could probably take anything Wade wanted to give him. Wade practically felt light-headed as his blood rushed south. 

He was so, so perfect. 

Suddenly Spidey was gone, pulling away from his arms. He took a few steps and turned away from him. 

"I can't do this to you Deadpool." he said in a voice that sounded so small. 

"What the fuck are you talking about? That was perfect! Unless it's the scars thing, which I totally get. I mean, who would want to make out with a wrinkly old avocado?"

"It's not that." Spidey wrapped his arms around himself protectively. "There's just something I have to tell you."

"Okay, but it's not going to change my mind."

He took a shuddering breath before answering. "I'm sixteen." 

"Balls."

Now he really wanted to jump off the building. 

"Fuck. Fucking balls." 

(So the kid is an actual fucking kid?)  
{That's not fair! Who lets a teenager be a superhero?}

"It's bad huh?" Spidey said. 

Wade couldn't look at him right now. He had to get his emotions in check. 

(It was too good to be true. Nothing so perfect could ever happen to us.)  
{Does this make us a pedo? Can we just stop loving him?}  
[I don't think I can.]

"Yeah, Spidey. That's a fucking understatement. Do the Avengers know?"

{No wonder we wanted to keep him safe so badly. A teen shouldn't be on these streets alone. It's a miracle something terrible hasn't happened yet.}  
(Yeah, well that miracle was us. We keep him safe.)

"They know."

"I'm going to actually kill Stark. How could he send you out there? At what, like fifteen!?" Wade would've pulled at his hair if he'd had any. 

Spidey turned now to confront him. 

"Mr. Stark realized he couldn't stop me. I have these powers for a reason! I can't just stand by and not help people when they need it!" He sounded on the verge of tears. "He decided to help me, even though I'm just a stupid kid! You said two minutes ago that you were proud of me! Did that somehow change now that you know my age?"

(Shit.)  
{He has a point. He really can handle himself.}

Wade had never really seen Spidey blow up like this before. He must have had a lot of pressure from the other heroes. Wade was probably the only one who actually took him seriously. No wonder he hadn't wanted to tell him. 

"You're right." Wade said. "It doesn't change anything about your hero work. I'm almost more proud of you now. You're already more responsible than I will ever fucking be." He took a few steps forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "But this does change what just happened between us."

"Does it have to?" he asked, dejected. 

"Do you know how old I am?"

"... Yeah, but I'll be 17 in two weeks."

"And I'll be 35 in a few months. That's fucking old. And illegal."

"Since when do you care about legality?" he scoffed. 

"I don't," Wade said, "but you do. And you will always come first with me Baby Boy, even if you don't want to."

Spidey turned his cheek into the hand that was still on his shoulder. "So we get one kiss and then… what?"

Wade took a step back as a precaution. The urge to bundle the other hero up in his arms was almost unbearable. 

"I never meant to push my feelings on you Spidey. This never should have happened, so let's just keep it that way. I'll see ya next time there's a baddie around, 'kay?"

He didn't really wait for an answer and headed for the ladder that led down to the street. 

"Okay." was all the reply he got. 

Wade hid on a nearby rooftop to wait for Spidey to leave first. He had some shit to sort out. 

Spidey stayed where he was for about half an hour. He was crying. It absolutely broke Wade's heart, but he couldn't go comfort him. 

{Why can't we give him a hug or something?}  
(He needs space, asshat! And so do we.)  
{This fucking sucks! How could we not know?}  
(Because we are too immature. We're a perfect match on maturity with an actual kid. Scratch that. He's more mature than we are.)  
[I knew we were fucked up, but this is really fucked up. We can't do anything.]  
{But-}  
[Nope.]  
(But-)  
[Nooooope. We're just gonna have to keep it professional. It's the right thing to do. He'll get over it someday.]  
{Will we ever get over it?}

Wade didn't answer. He just tried his best to tune out the chorus of voices as he made his way back to the dingy, empty apartment he called home at the moment. 

He had been kidding himself to ever think he could be good for Spidey, and now he had proof. It just wasn't meant to be. It didn't make it hurt any less 

\------

9 Months Ago or 3 Months Later 

The moment Wade met Peter, he knew he was in love. 

Wade stumbled into the nearest Bodega, ripped off his mask, and began grabbing arm-fulls of junk food. He tore into a bag of Cheetos and poured some into his mouth, barely chewing the crunchy cheese-like snacks. 

Gut wounds always hurt a lot, no matter how often he got them, and growing back a four-inch-wide section of his torso was hard work any day. 

Wade continued his snack bender by sticking his head under the slushie machine and depositing some straight into his mouth. He followed up with some off-brand snacks cakes, and a king-sized Kit-Kat bar, which he took the time to break into sections, because he wasn't a fucking monster. 

As he choked down the last of the chocolate he finally took a look around him. The convenience store must have been abandoned when the fighting broke out, because even the attendant was gone. 

Wade wasn't actually involved in whatever went down, but it had been big enough that both the Avengers and the X-Men were there. Nightcrawler had mentioned the dude's name at one point. Klang? Kabang? Whatever the dude's name was, Wade had ended up taking out a bunch of robots, one of which made the irksome hole. 

{Dude, grab some sweettarts next!}  
(Oh and a hotdog!)  
{SIX HOTDOGS!}  
[Jesus! I'm eating as fast as I can! Pipe down!]

Despite how he chided the voices, Wade grabbed a few more snacks and perched atop the coffee counter to wolf them down. 

(Oh, grab some Gatorade. But not the red kind, gross.)  
{Electrolytes are good for you right? It's what the plants crave.}

Wade couldn't argue with that kind of logic. Three bottles of sports drink later he finally leaned back and closed his eyes. Maybe he'd have a little nap before he went home. He hated growing back his spine. It felt fucking weird every time. He glanced down to check his progress, and saw the wound was almost gone now, just working on damaged skin and muscle at this point. 

Wade decided he was about done with his binge. He slapped $200 on the counter and was about to leave when he decided he should probably hit the can before he headed back to his side of town. 

He headed for the men's room and kicked the door open with his boot but to his surprise the tiny excuse for a restroom was already occupied. 

"OH MY GOD-"

"Woah! Sorry dude, guess you forgot to lock the….   
Holy fuck."

"It's not what it looks like!"

Except it was totally what it looked like, and what it looked like was this guy had crawled in through the super tiny window near the ceiling, and was changing out of a Spider-Man costume. 

And the guy in question was a super smoking hot teen with messy brown hair, and dreamy brown eyes. He quickly turned his back and covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. 

"What I meant was, I um…. I'm not the real Spider-Man or anything. It's just a costume."

Wade sighed. 

"Hey Spidey? You really need to work on your bluffing skills. Even if I didn't already know your voice, there is no way that suit didn't cost at least a million big ones. It's got Kevlar and nano tech. Also I've kinda spent a lot of time staring at your ass, and I'd pretty much know it anywhere."

(Great. Now you've made it even more awkward!)

Spidey regulated his breathing and slumped his shoulders. He turned to meet Wade's gaze. 

God must have hated Wade because that asshole designed such a perfect person and chucked him into the world too late. Or maybe Wade was too early. In any case, still an asshole. 

And now here they were, meeting in a Bodega bathroom, before Wade had gotten around to the "moving on and letting go" shit. It wasn't fair for him to be an amazing hero who changed his whole life and have those cute little freckles. 

{He isn't saying anything. Quick! What should we do?}

"Anyway… I'll just pretend like I didn't see anything. You don't have to worry about me! It's not like I know your name or where you live or anything so you're safe!"

(STOP RAMBLING!)  
{HOW DO WE DO THAT???}

Still nothing from Spidey. 

Wade turned to leave before he could make the poor kid any more uncomfortable. 

"So yeah, I'll just-"

A hand reached out for his own to pull him back around, and Wade followed like a love sick idiot. He shouldn't be here. It would only hurt worse, but pain never really stopped Deadpool from doing anything. 

Spidey looked up at him through his lashes with those big, brown eyes, and Wade wouldn't have left his side at that moment, even to save the whole universe. A single tear rolled down his perfect, rosy cheek. 

"It's Peter. My name is Peter Parker."

"What?"

"I'm telling you my name DP. Try to keep up would ya?" Spidey smiled. 

No. Peter smiled. 

"Nice to meet you Peter, I'm Wade Wilson."

He could feel his eyes watering, but he couldn't care less. 

Peter. Peter. Peter. 

They drew closer until they were locked in a tight embrace. Peter buried his face in Wade's chest and let out a relieved sob. 

"I missed you so much!" he cried. 

"I know. Me too."

"And you were avoiding me!"

"I had to. I can't stop caring about you Peter. I never will."

"So don't." Peter pulled back to look up at him. "It's not like anything has to change right? We can still do team ups and eat ice cream, and I can come over and watch movies, and we can take care of each other. That's not illegal right?"

{He's got a point!}  
(Yeah, but we reeeeeally want to do the illegal stuff.)

"I guess? But we need some serious ground rules. We have to be smart about this."

Peter grinned. "We can be smart. I've been told I'm a genius you know."

"Oh have you?"

"Yup."

(What happened to all that resolve about doing what's best for him?)  
[Shut the fuck up. I might be a good guy now, but I'm not THAT good.]  
{We're gonna get in trouble for this somehow... }  
[The person you are trying to reach is unavailable right now. Please leave a message after the tone.]

They sat on the empty counter of the Bodega, catching up and munching on candy bars for hours. 

"So you're really okay with this now?" Peter finally got the courage to ask. 

"What can I say? I can't deny you anything you beautiful specimen." 

"It's because you love~ me." Peter quipped. 

"I do." Wade replied. "I really, really do."

"Oh!" Peter said. He looked a little shocked, like he hadn't meant to say that. "Well, I love you too."

Wade looked at him with the most serious expression he could muster before replying. 

"I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to you (yes you) for making it to the end! If I could send you a kudo for being a reader, I would <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to update tags as we go. Please let me know if I missed any. C/C welcome.


End file.
